I'm just so fucking lonely. After being reamed out by Megret, and tonight with John...

I don't want to feel lonely any more.

I'm not lonely when my kids are awake. And I'm caught between I don't want to be leaning on them too much and I don't want to be pushing them away. How do I know how much is too much? I have no experience with this shit.

Maybe I worry to much?

I just don't know.

What I do know is that I am lonely, and right now the only places I have to go are up to bed with John, or sleeping on a sofa. I don't have any other options. Which is one very big reason why I am still sitting up, when I want to sleep, I want to be able to get up tomorrow and go to the shuk, and have energy, and a real life.

Is that all it is? Loneliness? That's pretty darn pathetic.

:: Yesterdays : Tomorrows ::

~~~Last Five Entries~~~
Hi and goodbye - 2010-10-15
I'll be moving on - 2010-10-10
Gold membership and stuff - 2010-10-10
Decisions, decisions - 2010-10-07
Days to go - 2010-10-06