3:15am. Trying to write something - I've just not had the time, even a moment. It is so crazy-making! I feel as if there is who-knows-what swirling around in my head making things really muddy up there, and I don't know even how to start to deal with any of it.

For the moment things are quiet on the uncle front. I have to phone my mother, an un-delightful prospect anyway one looks at it. Until then though I'm just not worryiing about it one way or the other. It is weird, though. My joke for the week: Just like my family: we can't even die normally.

Hans is back to taking driving lessons with Benny, the wacko-controlling driving instructor. He has to take one more test with Benny on Sunday, then he gets to officially request an interview with the social-worker at Tel HaShomer. He says he's going to flip out at the driving test. I said, good, the more trouble you have the better. You can't see me smiling. With a little chuckle under my breath.

Poor Hans, that he has to go through this now. But I am trusting it will be good for him in the long run. Asperger's or no Aasperger's, he's going to have to deal with all kind of frustrating nonsense in this life. Here he's getting a huge handful of it, at a time and in a place where we can support him, help him, encourage him, and he has to work on his patience and wait it out. Without, hopefully, getting violent, although if he lost it at one of the real wackos I'm not sure I'd be too upset. As long as there were no charges filed. Actually, he hasn't been really violent in years. He's a great guy, really.

Scary, how fast things change. Right now I want Neil out of here so badly I can taste it. I want out of this neighborhood with a vengeance. I want John to have a different job, I want, I want, I want. It wasn't so very long ago I was content and okay with life on life's terms. Where did that go? *sigh*

Everything really is okay, it's this mess in my head. I'm not okay with where I am at (mentally/spiritually/emotionally) so I fret about changing the physical environment. Which needs changing, no question, but that is not where the problem is.

I think I'm falling asleep now. I took a break to play a game or two, I can't think of words to put down. Maybe I need to spend some time just figuring out what it is in my head, then write it. Or call somebody. Or something.

:: Yesterdays : Tomorrows ::

~~~Last Five Entries~~~
Hi and goodbye - 2010-10-15
I'll be moving on - 2010-10-10
Gold membership and stuff - 2010-10-10
Decisions, decisions - 2010-10-07
Days to go - 2010-10-06