I'm grateful for: A good dentist; a 'normal' night with John; all my children home, hale and asleep

I live such an exciting life, you know? Just what I always wanted ... not! Oh, well. Today was rather tame as it goes, I guess. At least for me, personally.

I slept in a little bit, which meant I wasn't awake when Havva came home. That was too bad, but it helped the whole day otherwise.

I did end up fasting today. Once it was 4:30 already and I hadn't eaten or drunk anything, I figured I would go the distance, and I did. It was a little bit hard, but not terrible. At the very end, I did get short-tempered, especially with Eliyahu (who wasn't fasting) complaining about being Hu-un-gry! in a whiny voice. We all survived, though. ;-)

John came home early from work in order to take he and I to the dentist. I really like my dentist. Have I mentioned? Really. Today was just making the molds for the crown and it was painless and didn't even taste/smell too bad. I don't know exactly what he does differently, but whatever it is is really great.

I had a hard time getting there. With the bleeding I've been doing just getting ready to leave the house was a huge effort. I had to shower, and change everything, picking clothing that would help absorb and bloody overflow and wouldn't show it too much (my old black-now-grey jeans are perfect for this). We brought a long a bag of cloth diapers, changes of everything, plastic bag for soiled clothing ... It's worse than packing to take out a baby, I swear.

By the time all that was done, and I had my hair up, and jewelry on, and all that, climbing the stairs at the dentist's just about did me in. I had to collapse on the sofa, so John went in first. I don't know what he had done. When he was finished, I had to go in the bathroom to change and clean up before going in. John came in with me to help. It is pretty discouraging needing help with toileting, and changing diapers, and all of that. Thank goodness it is something John will do. I'd be up the creek without a paddle otherwise. Or I would just never, ever leave the house.

Like I said, dentist is good. I was in and out of there in no time, which meant John and I had time to go shopping a bit. We went to the one store in Ra'anana, Meatland, which sells all this stuff from the U.S. We got some Vienna all beef hotdogs (kosher), salad dressing, potato sticks, Twizzlers, I can't remember it all. Oh, yes, the oatio's style cereal. It's like Cheerio's only without any sugar. The kids love it. Good for them, too. It cost a fortune. I am neither kidding nor exaggerating. A fortune. *sigh* We also picked up some vitamin B1 (thiamine) for me to try for dealing with the bug bites.

As a slight aside, I got a suggestion from a friend of something I can use as a bug repellant - vinegar. Does anyone else know anything about this? It appeals to me because it is cheap, easy, and I know I am not allergic to vinegar, so it is well worth a try. My friend said it was what her grandmother used. You wash off any sweat, and then apply vinegar. The bugs don't like the acid apparently. Anyway, if anyone has any input I'd like to hear it. Just an aside, as I said.

We got home in good time for me to get to the dr.

I have no words. I am so angry at the putz I just can't even begin to express it. At least I got the name of a Gyn I can go see, if I want to. He's (that's right, a man) South African, and has an office in Ra'anana. I don't know how comfortable I am with seeing a South African man for a Gyn. I guess I'll just have to see how it goes. The dr. was a complete dickhead about it, and about the bug bites - insisting that I 'just' have to keep taking the antihistamines until I build up a resistance to the various bugs and bites. I could just about kill him. He did everything but pat me on the head.

When I brought up the kids' allergic reactions (Simcha still has some on her fingers, and a bit of a rash on her chest) I was ready to slap him. HE doesn't care if my kids are suffering, and refuses to even think about possible ways to deal with the situation. He is now firmly convinced I am blowing the whole thing out of proportion. He didn't see poor Eliyahu covered all over with rash and blisters, or Simcha's and Havva's hands with the blisters between the fingers. And, he's an asshole. !!!

So there.

John seems finally to be motivated to try and find another dr. I am really glad he is (at least theoretically) going to do it. I've certainly not been making any progress myself. The bleeding and all may have something to do with that, distracting me and all, but then, if I can't find a dr. when I need one, why would I find one when I don't? I don't know. Don't understand the way it all works. Fortunately, I guess I don't have to.

So then John had to go out to the pharmacy, which is one good thing. We have a cream for Havva and Simcha to use, which will hopefully take care of the last of the reaction without Havva needing to take any anti-histamines to knock it out. She can't afford the dopiness that comes with them, not right now for sure.

With all the running around today, I didn't get to see any news (that I understood) until very late in the day. I suppose it's just as well in an way, because it's not like I could have done anything but worried. Something (missile) hit Karmiel, but not in the side, Barukh Hashem. A couple of missiles hit Hatzor, which means nothing I expect but we visited people there for our first Rosh Hashana in Israel. John called - everything is okay there apparently. Most people aren't even bothering to go into the shelters. Hatzor is protected mostly by being surrounded by mountains, in such a way that for a missile to actually hit it, it would have to follow a very odd trajectory. Most of them tend to pass right over, if they get that far.

Of course Hizbullah leadership claiming they know absolutely nothing about the missiles which hit Haifa is pretty special. Either they are lying, or they are admitting they have no control over what they are doing. Who wants to bet? I'm not giving odds, I'll tell you that.

I got into a little bit of a shouting match with John today. Of course all the foreign media is talking equivalence - that our bombing airport runways is exactly the same as what they are doing. Never mind that they attacked us first. The crossed the border. The attacked our soldiers. They killed some and kidnapped (possibly) two others. I only say possibly because who knows if they are dead or alive? That is an act of war. Imagine if that happened in the U.S. Mexico, I guess, because even though they are not always the best of friends it pretty impossible to put Canada in that role. Some people in Mexico crossed the border, killed a bunch of U.S. troops, snatched two people, and ran back across the border. What would the U.S. do? Would they just sit there and ask nicely for the Mexicans to negotiate with them? Maybe for twelve hours. Maybe even twenty four. But... I don't think so.

And, it doesn't hurt to bear in mind that the Mexicans don't have a history of butchering Americans that they get their hands on.

Okay, so all that is neither here nor there to the shouting I was doing. Hello!?! They are specifically and deliberately targetting civilian population centres. Karmiel. Nehariya. Hatzor. Tzfat. Now Haifa. Specifically and deliberately attacking the civilian population in cities. Equivalence?!?! I don't think so.

Anyway, John shut up - why does he say stupid things, parroting media he doesn't even agree with? I mean, he doesn't. It's like his brain turns off or something.

Actually some of the stuff was actually making me sick. For the moment, I am avoiding all foreign newspapers. And the J Post. Really.

Well, other than catching up on the news, and making sure people we know are okay, nothing much else happened besides the food-fest after the fast ended. All that yummy American food got attacked, and much of it is gone now. A very expensive after-fast treat but I think it was worth it today. There is some left over for shabbos. Not much, but some.

John got Eliyahu in bed - actually Eliyahu announced he was too tired to stay up any longer, and that he was going to bed now and John should read him some Animorphs. The bed-time story of choice for the forseeable future, I guess. We have an awful lot of the series.

Zechy seems to be pretty much over his virus. Barukh Hashem. And Simcha also went to bed early and easily.

John and I played a rail game together, chatted, and had the closest we have come to a 'normal' decent time together in quite a while. I hope it lasts, but, of course it won't. He'll go back to his shit, and I'll get caught up in my own, and - well, hopefully at least I'll be better at seeing the downward spiral as it happens. I hope.

Eliyahu is snoring beside me. I managed to swat a but *before* it bit me. Only one, but it does a world of good for my morale. ;-) It's too soon to say if the B1 is making a difference, but I'm hoping.

To top it all off, the heat has broken. Just a little bit, but, in July, that's something. It's still hot, of course, but enough cooler that at 1am I can pull a sheet up over me (to keep some of the bugs off, at least), and not immediately start cooking. I'll take that.

I worked on my prayers again tonight. I wish it was something I did enough of that it wasn't worth mentioning. For whatever reason, right now Hashem has me able to do that, while I can't do other things, like laundry and housework. Whatever. I'm tired of my own shit, which at the moment means the words that spew out of me. It's all just too icky.

Probably means I'm tired and should try and sleep. It's only 1:10am, after all.

The kids are all okay. We are, oddly enough, in one of the safer places in the country right now. Strange. And sad. And we were hoping to move up north. Not right now, sadly. Here's hoping things quiet down soon, and we can start planning our new home and dog kennel. Please, Hashem. And let's not forget peace in our time.

I'm listening to Eliyahu snoring and the fan, and someone moving around in the kitchen

:: Yesterdays : Tomorrows ::

~~~Last Five Entries~~~
Hi and goodbye - 2010-10-15
I'll be moving on - 2010-10-10
Gold membership and stuff - 2010-10-10
Decisions, decisions - 2010-10-07
Days to go - 2010-10-06