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Honey is Sweet Really hard - 2006-07-20 I'm grateful for: a decent gyn; yummy sausages; new books to read It's almost 12:30 after midnight and so far I have not been able to fall asleep. Tired as I am. The trip to the gyn went well, if that can be said about such a thing. The gyn surprized me by being a decent dr. and thoughtful, considerate, and not causing me any pain at all. Where has he been all my life? After giving me a fairly thorough examination, though he recommends a hysterectomy. I am so not thrilled. I asked lots of questions, asked about alternative treatments, asked about various options, but he was quite clear. There are options, but none of them are very good, and would be, as he put it, merely a bandaid on the problem. I really, really don't want this. On the other hand, when I imagine a life without the pain, the bleeding, and the extra exhaustion I get almost giddy. Of course I will still have M.S., but even before I had M.S. one week a month I was made literally non-functional by the heaviness of the bleeding, and the cramps, and so on. It scares me and it makes me sad. I hadn't entirely given up on having another baby. *sigh* This would be the definitive end of that. The dr. said he wants me to see another dr., for a second opinion. Another good sign. So John is going to try and make an appointment tomorrow. Not to have an appointment tomorrow, I mean tomorrow he is going to make the call. Hoping to get the second opinion as soon as possible, so as to either get it over with or (Hashem willing?) to be relieved of the dread. When I got up, I bathed, dressed, and John got me out to the car where there was breakfast waiting. An on-the-run meal, my first of the day at 3:30 in the afternoon. We had to leave a little early because there was a closure in Kfar Saba - a terrorist, I believe a suicide bomber, had made it to Kfar Saba and so there was a hunt on. We were worried about traffic and possible blockades, but we didn't run into anything. Just btw, they found the fellow and 'neutralized' him - which is a way of not giving out too much information. If they manage to take one alive and question him, they don't want the people who send them to get wind of it. It means the rest of us don't know for sure what happened, either, but I'm okay with that. When we got to where the gyn's office is, I couldn't hold myself up. I went in in the wheelchair, the visit as I said went well, and we were out in good time. I was so dead, though. We drove to Meatland, but I just sat in the car while John went in to do the shopping. More O's, and some beef sausage for a treat for me. He also bought some t-bone steaks. I thought it was silly, but sometimes I do get a craving for real meat, so it could be nice. We drove home, once in Karnei stopping at the makolet and then the pharmacy. I have pills to take, in addition to all the other pills that I take. The dr. wants to stop the bleeding (hormones) and get my blood count up (iron) before any thought of surgery. Once home I just collapsed into my chair. I wore the earrings Neil brought me, and everyone commented on them. They really are quite beautiful, and unlike anything I've ever seen before. He gave Havva a rug, and the younger kids keychains and bookmarks. He seems to have had a very good time overall. I warned various members of the household of the possibility of surgery coming up. Havva has to get the time off from work - she'll have to take on being in charge at home while I am off resting and recovering in Tel Aviv for about a week. It might not be that long, but I have to plan for the longer time. And that's about it. Not an exciting day, I didn't do anything at all that I consider worth remembering. I do hope that someday soon I may have enough strength and stamina to start participating in life again. This has all been really hard. I have a couple of new (to me) books to read. I borrowed them from Hans - didn't even know he had them. He must've been collecting for a while that I didn't notice. Thanks Hans! :-) Enough from me. Goodnight. I'm listening to Eliyahu snoring and the distant roar of someone's central air conditioning 0 bleats so far:: Yesterdays : Tomorrows ::
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