| - Profile -+- Notes -+-Archives-+- E-Mail -+-Diaryland-+- Fotolog -+- Latest - |
|
Honey is Sweet Double plus ungood - 2006-08-13 I'm grateful for: being better at living life on life's terms; possibly having my house back (guests going home?); Ben, calling this place 'home.' It's a little after 12:30am. I feel like shit. No, that's putting it nicely. But, there just aren't words. It didn't take long. I started bleeding again on Wednesday - and here it is Saturday and I am absolutely in flat-out agony. Oh, and the bug bites. Well, I think we already figured out they bite me because of the rich smell of blood. I doubt there is a bug repellant in the world that can counteract that. John is supposed to call the dr. in the morning, and try to get through to him that I can't possibly be like this. I don't care what kind of a 'band-aid' it takes, the bleeding has got to be stopped. At least, slowed down. I passed (I'm trying not to exaggerate here) close to a quarter cup of blood in two hours today. That was one two hour period, one I can be sure of. Obviously it is not constantly that heavy, or I wouldn't be typing this, I'd be dead. but it is enough that in any given day I probably lost between 1/2 pint and a pint of blood. Yippee! Happy mosquitos! And spiders, and biting flies, and chiggers, and ... Just in case I wasn't losing enough blood on my own. Oy, I suppose I shoulda warned people of front what I would be writing about. Oh, well, if you can't take the graphics, don't read the newspaper. Or something like that. Oh, and the ceasefire? I'll do us all a favour and not even talk about that. The Lebanese gub'ment and Hizbullah and Syria and Iran are trumpeting it as a major victory for their side, that they have 'won' against the Israeli Defense Forces. It is to encourage them. But, I suppose, it is what we can do. It's not as if we could conquer the whole middle-east (as if we even wanted to) in order to get these people to stop trying to kill us. But I said I wouldn't talk about it. If they don't return Ehud and Eldad, the ceasefire had better be OFF is all else I will say about that. Tonight at least. I don't know if I'll be able to sleep tonight. I am tired enough to, for sure, but the pain and the itching and the general discomfort is a pretty powerful argument against it. Sleep would be a good way to pass the hours until the dr. can come up with yet another reason why he's a dick-head. I'm guessing tomorrow's dick-headed behaviour will be not answering the phone or returning our calls. Just a guess, though, he's free to come up with something original. I have such faith in dr.s Comes of being crippled and knowing too many of them. I know a lot of people expect too much of dr.s I generally expect too little, and, unfortunately, am rarely disappointed (or proved wrong). It would help this whole endeavour if both the dr.s and most non-dr.s would get that they are just human and act accordingly. Human like the rest of us. Just a fallible, with particular areas of expertise which are maybe different - not necessarily superior - to anyone else's particular areas of expertise. Me, I'm great at reading dr.s *vbg* Didn't accomplish anything today. Oh, well, got some puzzle pieces put in a jigsaw puzzle I've been doing with the kids. And helped Simcha with her Kingdom of Loathing account. Other than that, nada. Besides bleeding, of course, and showering, and rinsing out clothing multiple times (not the same clothing multiple times, you understand). And I did manage a nap in the afternoon, which meant I missed my chance to spend the time with the kids, but probably for the best given how I ended up feeling. I did get to sit with Eliyahu and 8yo John and Simcha while they (at least Eliyahu and Simcha) watched E.T. for the first time. If only 8yo John would've shut up! It would definitely have made a more enjoyable movie experience for me. Eliyahu loved it, Simcha liked it, I consider that a success. When someday Eliyahu is too old to watch it any more (soon, I hope) we can pass it along to some other family with young enough children. Gaugh, does anyone else remember they days when you just *knew* it was a Steven Spielberg movie because of the dry ice? His signature special effect. Funny how things change, and then no one remembers little details like that. I'm reading a book about the first submarine to go around the world submerged. The author is the captain, no ghost-writer, and it is s-l-o-w reading. Havva assures me it gets funny sometime soon. Almost a hundred pages into the book, I am waiting. It's funny, I intended just to log in here, write how really awful I felt, and go away, but here I am still typing. Not for long, but it seems to be helping for the moment. My sister whined at me tonight. Enough about that, though. Ugh. I actually can't think of anything else to write. I have done nothing this whole summer. I can't think of another summer, ever, that I have been so incapacitated. I hate it. It's stolen the summer away, not just from me, but from my kids. All I'm saying is, enough is enough. Havva made me some new earrings, and repaired some she had made for me before, including replacing one I had lost with a new one made to match. The one I lost was made from green and yellow jade. I really loved it, so am happy to have the pair back. I have so very many earrings. :-) Okay, I'm going to try and sleep now, or at least lie down in minimal discomfort. *sigh* I could use some prayers at this point. I don't truly expect to die from the blood loss, but that is the kind of thing we are playing with here. Double plus ungood. I'm listening to the various noises from the fans, and the neighbours central air conditioning. *sigh* 0 bleats so far:: Yesterdays : Tomorrows ::
~~~Last Five Entries~~~ |
