I'm grateful for: Eliyahu sleeping sweetly next to me; Willow the kitten ensconced in the den; plenty of boxes for packing things in.

Oh, I wish we were moving tomorrow! Hello again. I missed writing anything last night - not for any reason I know of, I just wasn't up to it. So, oh well.

I don't remember yesterday at all well, no surprize there, except that when I came to bed I was really feeling rotten - I don't know what that was about. It was one of my whiny self-pity, miserable me kind of times, so probably just as well I didn't write it down here. Who needs more of that?

We did get stuff packed yesterday, and got the stereo broken down (kind of sad), and most of it packed up. We also moved the copier so that Hans can use the table in the salon for a war game he's been trying to play. Among the many things John has done lately is to make the salon unusable for all the things we had it for - listening to music on the stereo, playing on the piano, Hans' war games ... Sometimes my husband is such a lazy, selfish git it amazes me, even though I've known him for more than a quarter-century now.

Today I woke up feeling just awful. Which may have contributed to my emotional malaise last night, but to day it was/is physical. I'm thinking I was much more worn down by the stress and activity of the last few weeks than I was aware. I hope that's all it is. It is not acting like an M.S. relapse, Barukh Hashem, but it could be some kind of a virus. I really hope not. I was able to get up (eventually), but I didn't eat breakfast, hardly any lunch, and almost no supper. I know, I could stand to lose some weight. As long as I don't fall into starving myself again. That would be bad.

For anyone who doesn't know and cares (or skip this paragraph) I was/am anorexic. A very successful anorexic, which makes it really important that I don't start falling into the mindset of it's okay not to eat in order to lose weight. I know it would be much better if I could exercise regularly, but as a crip with M.S., reality is. So I'm pretty much doomed to stay obese, which is wonderful for my working on acceptance and so on, but not necessarily what I would choose given the best of all possible worlds.

We watched To Catch A Thief, with Cary Grant, and ate popcorn (I had some), and I played Kingdom of Loathing, and Zechy and I catalogued some books, but it was pretty much a waste of a day. I took close to a four hour nap and woke up feeling just the tiniest bit better. So I went downstairs and after a very short time was feeling absolutely rotten again. *Sigh* But Zechy and I got the extra boxes in the spare room sorted through (pretty much all Passover stuff), and some books packed which is progress. And then John and I watched a couple of Twilight Zone episodes which were both very good.

I hope tomorrow I feel better and am more functional. There are so many things I could be doing that require little or no physical effort/ability and would be getting things done. Today I just couldn't manage anything. It really doesn't make me feel better about my life or myself. *sigh*

I'm going to try and get some sleep at a decent hour. If my long nap doesn't make it impossible. I have books to read and puzzles to do, both of which often help me to fall asleep, so I am not without hope. And maybe I'll find myself awake and typing at three in the morning again. I guess I'll find that out if it happens. For now, I'm going to try and sleep. And may Hashem send a better tomorrow.

I'm listening to my breathing (I don't seem to listen to music anymore while typing my entries. Maybe that will change again in our new home, with a better home situation)

:: Yesterdays : Tomorrows ::

~~~Last Five Entries~~~
Hi and goodbye - 2010-10-15
I'll be moving on - 2010-10-10
Gold membership and stuff - 2010-10-10
Decisions, decisions - 2010-10-07
Days to go - 2010-10-06