I'm grateful for: shopping and cleaning and generally functioning; John being back at work today; a laptop computer in my room.

Just something short I think. I just shouldn't write when I'm just feeling lousy. It leaves a bad taste in my mouth, and when I can't get back here right away it's sort of left hanging there. It depresses me. But, *sigh* that is how I was feeling when I wrote the last entry.

Right now I'm just busy. Moving stuff is happening, and it takes time, and a lot of effort. Neil is completely useless for this (as for so many things). I don't know why but I am practically in a homicidal rage at him right now. Which is why I am writing this right now, I guess. I'm hiding out in my room waiting for him to leave for Jerusalem, so I don't have to deal with him and quite possibly end up even more furious. He hasn't *done* anything that I can put a finger on, so I suppose my rage has more to do with me than with him. He's not a dead weight here, although sometimes it does feel like it.

But you can't ever ask him to do anything. Okay, you can ask, but whatever it is he has an excuse or a reason, or if he does do it it's such a half-assed thing you're sorry you asked, or it takes him HOURS to do something simple like wash a half dozen dishes (He claimed there was no hot water). What the rest of us do when there is no hot water (not a common thing around here, truly), is turn on the electric kettle and in a few minutes there is more than enough steaming water to wash a handful of dishes. I mean, really! And he manages, theoretically quite innocently, to foul up so much that we are trying to do. He'll hang all his clothes on the middle clothes line. Hello? What's with that? There are eight people in this house but we can only use half the clothes drying space because why? I'm sure he has no sensible answer and I surely haven't bothered to ask him about it. Whatever he said would put me in a blind rage without a doubt.

And, I guess a big thing is he treats me like shit. I don't mean he calls me names or is overtly mean to me, but he ignores me unless he has something to complain about or he wants something from me, then, when he's made his complaint or gotten what he wants, I vanish from his consciousness again. At least that's what it looks like from here. I'm about ready to take a large frying pan to his head. If I killed him here before we moved, then buried his body in Shoqeda, odds are no one would ever know. Seriously. There is no one to miss him except us. No one who cares. He has no documentation, is just here on a temporary visa, still, his family back in the states has no idea where he is (by his choice). So, it's the perfect crime. :-) And once a month I can withdraw his social security benefit using his atm card. :-) Silliness. But if I didn't think about killing him occasionally out loud, I swear I could possibly do it.

I hope to heaven we can get him moved into the cottage with all speed. This winter is going to be a misery I'm afraid. Really.

So, yesterday was quite an extraordinary day. I went shopping with John, and we went to several stores, bought all kinds of stuff, priced washing machines, and generally had a good time. I did so much walking my feet hurt, and I was afraid I would ache terribly today.

Then, when we came home, John ended up taking everyone out for about an hour, and I folded all the laundry, washed dishes (the ones Neil hadn't done even after he'd found some hot water. *Sigh*), worked a bit with the dogs, and generally had a good time. I was pretty tired, and breathing like Darth Vader at the end of it, but I had a great time. I went up and down stairs several times too.

It's kind of depressing that just going up and down the stairs inside my house constitutes exercise, but that's where I'm at.

Well, I said I was going to keep this short. I have a full day today if I can get to it. Packing books and moving things around so we have room for more boxes. Alina was theoretically to have come over to study Hebrew, but she is not here. I'm not to upset about it. I'd rather be packing. I wonder what time Neil is leaving?

I may not be too regular in updating for a while. So much to do and only a few short weeks to do it in. Ah, but overall life is good. I just have to avoid Neil. That's all. Grrrrrrr.

I"m listening to Wyrd Systers, the video. Eliyahu is watching it in the den.

:: Yesterdays : Tomorrows ::

~~~Last Five Entries~~~
Hi and goodbye - 2010-10-15
I'll be moving on - 2010-10-10
Gold membership and stuff - 2010-10-10
Decisions, decisions - 2010-10-07
Days to go - 2010-10-06