I'm grateful for the sunshine coming in my window; dreams of a new life in a new home; six healthy children and two healthy grandchildren

I don't know if this will turn into a real entry - I just stopped by to say hi. "Hi."

Wednesday morning before eight. The sun is just starting to shine in my window. Furious packing to do. I'm trying not to go crazy over it. I'm trying not to be too insane. Too much packing. The movers are scheduled for Thursday next week. Neil is going into Jerusalem tonight (Yeaaa!).

Rats! John 'forgot' to mail my postcard again today. Just ask me how I know. Because it's John. And he didn't ask me where it was, so how can he have mailed it?

Okay, hopefully that is all the grousing out of the way. So much for just saying 'Hi,' you know? I don't get enough time by myself to just think these days. Probably won't until after we've moved. Oh, I hope it goes smoothly.

A friend is coming by with her twins, she wants me to take the six-month photos. I'm happy to, I just hope I can do it right. I haven't any sort of proper lighting which means having to rely on the sun. I shudder to think how much studio lighting would cost - it's so far out of my range there's no handling it. So far the sun is shining brightly. I hope not too brightly. And I have to figure out where and what sort of background I can use. It is all such a challenge. But I am thrilled to be doing it, anyway.

Moving house is a huge business. I really most sincerely hope this is the last time ever. I hope we are happy in Shoqeda, I hope it works for us, I hope ... well, I hope a lot of things. I've been doing better health-wise. That part is pretty exciting. I associate my doing better at least in part on feeling less trapped and hopeless, looking forward to a new life which will be so much more suitable to me/us than the one here in our 'American suburb.' So I really, really hope and pray that living in Shoqeda will live up to some of that.

I 'need' to get up and dressed and I don't want to. Here, the sun is shining and I'm under the covers. Once I get up I spend most of my time in the extremely dark and gloomy kitchen/salon area. It is colder there and of course, no feather comforter.

I suppose I can sit here for a moment longer.

I've made very good progress with copying Harry Potter tapes. I am hoping to take a break from Harry Potter and do something else today. I am getting so sick of good old H.P. Eliyahu listens to it endlessly at night, sometimes during the day, and I have to listen to it while copying because (why I am copying them) the tapes are old enough that there are places they've stretched and I have to watch for those. Well, listen. I am really heartily sick of Harry Potter for today. Seven tapes in the Prisoner of Azkaban, and I've finished three. *sigh*

I am making very good progress on the endless blanket from hell. I might even finish it in time for the girl's second birthday. It was supposed to be a baby blanket for her. Yeah, right. But it's certainly suitable for an older child, or even for an adult to use as a shawl or lap blanket so it's not wasted. I am just sick of knitting something which benefits no one in my family. Simcha would love a blanket like this one, and I would love to make it for her. *sigh* In my copious spare time, or when we've moved on from this stage of life. Something like that.

I don't know if I mentioned, Hans got his letter from the army finally. He has an appointment for December 10. Theoretically (there's that word again) all he has to do is show up and tell them the truth and he's out of there. But after all this time I don't trust the theory. So I am going with him, and perhaps John will also, on this appointment, to talk to the army shrink and see what happens. I really, really want this to work out for him. If it does, then he will very soon be free of all Israeli entanglements and able to return to the U.S. to do what he says he really wants to do - Join the U.S. army.

Of course I worry, but it should be good for him, and it is what he really wants to do. And of course I will miss him terribly - even as I am looking forward to one less body in our crowded home.

I am so ready to have a 'normal' life. How do I get there from here? I dream of it being me and three kids at home, John going to work each day, something resembling a schedule. I dream of this, and it's not going to happen as long as my adult children and even older brother keep hanging around and hanging onto me. It's not going to happen. *Sigh* I wasn't born for a normal life.

There are still so many things I don't know how to do.

Well, I think it's time to get up and start my day. I think I need a shower, but I don't think I'm going to be able to get one. Not so good, it's not good to stink. And with someone coming over. Well, maybe Hashem will find a way.

I'm listening to Hans. No idea what it is he's playing at, but I hear his voice loud and clear.

:: Yesterdays : Tomorrows ::

~~~Last Five Entries~~~
Hi and goodbye - 2010-10-15
I'll be moving on - 2010-10-10
Gold membership and stuff - 2010-10-10
Decisions, decisions - 2010-10-07
Days to go - 2010-10-06