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Honey is Sweet

December 31, Sylvester - 2006-12-31

I'm grateful for: Neil and John leaving the house tomorrow; getting through another day; having internet access again.

It is still December 31, but just barely. There are, in a few places in this country, some 'Sylvester' parties going on. But here in Shoqeda it is quiet, a day almost like any other day. Except it was a fast day, sunrise to sunset. Not too hard, but...

I didn't make it. I had to eat something between one and two o'clock. I'm not beating myself up over it or anything, but still, it's hard. I have managed full 25 hour fasts, so not making it through a short one seems kind of rotten. I can only do what I can do.

Undoubtedly it being so very cold contributed to my not making it. It is colder than usual, and for some reason today the house just wasn't warming up. For the most part we have some heaters that we move around, and it does a good enough job to keep us from freezing, but not today. In the girl's room there is condensation on the walls, for heaven's sake. My room isn't that bad, but the floor were so cold my feet felt the cold through my sheepskin slippers. Bah.

Today was laundry, and making a soup (with an inadequate supply of veggies. Still, it came out all right). Coping with Neil being in the house, and intermittent internet connections. Right now it's good, it's been good for a few hours, but who knews when it will go out again? I actually hope it goes out tomorrow, because that is when a technician is supposed to show up to check everything out. No good if it's all working when he gets here.

I actually found myself being less tense and angry with Neil. I know that has to do with talking yesterday, and being at a meeting. I found myself a couple of times wanting to address him, but I managed not to. That way lies madness. I already know that if there is going to be any change, it has to come from him. But it feels good to not be so angry at him. And it also feels good to not be angry at him but still able to maintain the distance that I need.

John was out of the house a lot today, which was helpful. He went to Netivot to try and take care of the water thing. Long story sort of short, we can't get the water bill put in our name until an outstanding amount is paid by the old tenant or the landlord. The old tenant, who was here today, says he gave the money to pay the bill to the landlord, and that we should just pay the bill and deduct it from the rent. And the clerk at the water offices said John had to talk to someone on the moshav. Oy.

He shopped for a door for the cottage (no luck yet), and picked up Havva at the train station, and spent a couple of hours out in the rain trying to help the old tenant from here get his car going in the rain. The old tenant, Israel, seems to be a really good guy. Sadly, he had a heart-attack not long after they moved out of here.

I got a Nirvana tape copied onto the computer. One down, maybe a hundred more to go. It went comparatively quickly, and leaves me with hope that the whole project won't take as long and be as miserable as I have feared it might be.

When John brought Havva home the fast was about over. Havva made pizza puffs, John made Wacky Mac for the kids and some macaroni and cheese/tuna fish casserole for me and Neil and whoever else might want. Zechy brought me some cheese on crackers and all-in-all it was quite a heavily dairy meal. Thank goodness none of us has a really bad reaction to dairy.

After supper I spent what was left of my brainpower writing a recommendation for Havva as her teacher for UofC, and also writing up a high school 'transcript.' Man, that was a load of malarky. UofC is supposed to be looking for the qualities that home-schooled kids have in abundance, though, and I didn't play any games or try to pretend that it was anything other than what it was. Havva didn't take 'courses,' wasn't graded, couldn't have 'failed' and never received any honours - the kind that are handed out in schools, that is.

Instead she studied quantum physics and cosmology from about age ten, and by fifteen was as knowledgeable as it was possible to be when all of her learning came from books (us not having access to a particle accelerator where she could perform experiments). She bred rabbits and goats, did math research with a Boston University grad student, taught herself yoga (out of books, with some help from me), worked picking eggplant and cucumbers, hauled feed bags, sheared sheep, learned to weave and spin, made her own shabbos candles, and figured out alternative ways to cope when her dyslexia proved intractable in being able to spell. So, how do you grade all of that? How do you figure out how many course hours she spent on one subject. I can't do it.

So, a mock-up transcript, with an explanation why it is just a mock-up, and something rather like the previous paragraph explaining just how it all worked. Sort of.

It really twisted my brains a bit to do it, though. Argh.

Hans made some popcorn, and he and Zechy and I watched another installment of this Polish movie epic that he bought. The title in English is Fire and Sword, I'm pretty sure. Something like that. It really is an excellent film, but in some ways a little too historically accurate for my stomach - actually it's not my stomach that was upset, but it does keep creeping into my head and creeping me out.

We also had a good time with the dogs after the movie, just scritching their bellies and hugging them and doing some dog-pile affection. Balta is starting to really relax with us a bit. I don't know why it seems to have taken so long, it's only been a couple of months, not even more like one and a half. And it's been such a stressful time for us, I have no doubt she didn't feel all warm and fuzzy/happy to be with us. I'm thinking in a few weeks she will finally have settled in to the idea that we are hers and she is ours, and that will be good.

Don't want to talk about money, can't talk about money, money is bad. I paid this month's Visa bill. I wrote a check for Havva. I am not panicking. I am not panicking. I am not panicking. Hashem willing I will not panic. It is just not good.

I want to blame Neil, just because. *wry grin* Argh.

Enough, I must go to sleep. If I can sleep through John's super-motor snores. I swear he's shaking the house.

I'm listening to: What else?

0 bleats so far

:: Yesterdays : Tomorrows ::

~~~Last Five Entries~~~
Hi and goodbye - 2010-10-15
I'll be moving on - 2010-10-10
Gold membership and stuff - 2010-10-10
Decisions, decisions - 2010-10-07
Days to go - 2010-10-06