I'm grateful for: a tape copied; successful shopping; feeling sleepy.

I've had a pretty good day, and I am hurting really bad. Just miserable. I don't know how to reconcile that in a socially acceptable manner.

"How are you doing?"
"Just fine, except for these knives tearing at my guts."

"It's good to see you up and about."
What I say
"Yes, it's really nice to be getting out of the house."
What I want to say
"It'd be really good to see my cane sticking out of your a**, only then I'd have to stand here with you that much longer while the pain is ravaging my insides. Would you please get the f*** out of my way so I can fall down in my chair and moan quietly?"

In point of fact I'd probably rather howl loudly than moan quietly, but after decades with kids in the house I don't seem to be able to get up a good howl. I just sort of automatically shush myself.

Really, though, it was a good day. Besides the pain. In my *real* life, I have to keep a stiff upper lip, smile, play down how much it hurts and tell little jokes and be upbeat and never, ever bite anyone's head off just because those knives feel like they are going to come tearing out of my throat. I don't think that's a bad thing. It certainly helps me to focus on the positive. But sometimes I just want to be able to throw a temper tantrum, have a hissy fit, to just NOT BE NICE ABOUT IT!

It just really hurts.

Besides that, though, John and Havva have almost finished plastering her room. They would have finished but ran out of plaster.

John went with Tzion to buy a rooster. Didn't end up getting one, but found out that there are livestock at the Be'er Sheva shuk on Thursday mornings. Next week, Hashem willing, we'll be hopefully buying a rooster, maybe a white hen, and a white ewe lamb. I hope.

I got an audio tape copied onto the computer. The tape itself is dying or dead, but now I don't have to lost the music. It's Tina Turner, Break Ever Rule. Nothing earth-shattering, perhaps, but I'd hate to lose it. I knit with Simcha. I knitted the front of a Barbie poncho, she knitted the back, and then she sewed it together. I also started a green dolman dress for her Barbie. It feels so good to have knitting projects I can finish.

I don't think I did much else besides grocery shopping. We drove into Be'er Sheva, Havva nd Simcha went off on their own to buy birthday presents for John. I haven't got one for him. HIs birthday is tomorrow. Oh, well.

John read aloud a chapter from Old Yeller and some Thud! Zechy read another Jeeves story. I listened to a good chunk of The Marriage of Figaro. Some laundry was done.

I just can't really think very well. I'm tired, and the pain isn't all better yet. I am hoping tomorrow will be better. *sigh*

Pain is not my whole life, but when it is here it certainly colours everything.

I'm listening to the computer's fan.

:: Yesterdays : Tomorrows ::

~~~Last Five Entries~~~
Hi and goodbye - 2010-10-15
I'll be moving on - 2010-10-10
Gold membership and stuff - 2010-10-10
Decisions, decisions - 2010-10-07
Days to go - 2010-10-06