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Honey is Sweet

Changes - 2007-04-04

I'm grateful for: Changes; finishing the book The Glass Harmonica; more space, I guess.

I don't know what to say about today. Very mixed. John and David got the ceiling up in Havva's new room. It needs to be smoothed and plastered (to cover where the drywall pieces meet), and painted, but it's good enough for her to sleep in for the duration of Saviyon's visit.

Havva has moved her stuff out there, and we've put the spare bed (used to be Eliyahu's, he's now sleeping in what was Hans' bed) into Simcha's room. Used to be the 'girl's' room. All of this takes an awful lot of getting used to.

Tomorrow we have to get up at the crack of dawn to take Simcha to see a dr. She had massive pain in her ear. Not an external ear infection, could be otitis medea (or however you spell that - middle ear infection), or just too much fluid build-up from the current virus which is causing this problem for all of us to a greater or lesser degree. So far Simcha is the only one with pain, though.

Right now she is sleeping propped up on a bunch of stuffed animals and pillows, the best insurance we have that she won't wake up screaming from pain in the ear in the middle of the night. We can but hope.

After taking Simcha to the dr., we drive to Be'er Sheva to pick up Saviyon at the train station. I don't know if we will stop and do some shopping at that point or not. We definitely haven't enough food, or at least enough variety in our food, for a guest. And we have no idea what sort of things to feed her during Pesach. It's hard enough when we have normal food.

I still don't know what to say about today. It was hard, physically. And, I did get out to feed the chickens, I was out there by myself for a fair chunk of time which was wonderful.

I ate well, I think. John and I watched a couple of episodes of In Living Color, from the second season. To be honest I watch it for Homey D. Clown. The rest is good mostly, some of it not so good, but I love Homey D. Clown.

I don't *think* so.
Ima don't play dat.

I made Zechy a couple of disks of music from 1975. I don't know why, it just seemed like a thing to do. He said there are about five (out of a hundred) songs that he'd care to hear again. I can't say that I blame him. The good ones are really good at least.

I guess the thing about today is that I'm having to deal with a number of hard things, like, I'm probably never going to be much better (physically) than I am today. Which is pretty darn depressing. And, my kids are moving on. Which is very, very, good, and sad, and a bit frightening. I can't say bittersweet, because there really is nothing bitter about it. It doesn't make it easy, though.

It's about Havva moving out to the small house, and her plans to go back to the U.S. (on a visit), and Zechy needing to go back to the U.S. for his G.E.D., which could leave us here alone, me and Simcha and Eliyahu. And I worry about Zechy, and how he'll be there on his own and all that sort of stuff.

And of course Hans being gone. The house is feeling so different. And except for visits and vacations it may never be so full again. Not necessarily a bad thing in this small house, but then, I will miss it terribly as well.

It's just that it's all a huge adjustment. I am grieving a bit the things we won't have again, at the same time as I am really happy at the thought of more time, more space, hopefully being able to do more stuff, and so on and so forth.

It's just hard.

I'm listening to Havva getting ready to go out to her new room to sleep for the first time.

0 bleats so far

:: Yesterdays : Tomorrows ::

~~~Last Five Entries~~~
Hi and goodbye - 2010-10-15
I'll be moving on - 2010-10-10
Gold membership and stuff - 2010-10-10
Decisions, decisions - 2010-10-07
Days to go - 2010-10-06