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Honey is Sweet Shabbos, not much rest - 2007-04-22 I'm grateful for: spending time with my chickens; having photos to post on my fotolog; a night by myself. I don't know how I've managed to forget to mention it, but I have been putting new photos up on my fotolog. The link is up above. I'm not lazy, I'm exhausted. There is a difference. So I keep telling myself, anyway. I had a terrific conversation with my sister today. All about the horrors of mother. Okay, not entirely. But a lot of it was. I guess details just aren't that important, it's more important that I was reminded of what a complete and utter horror of a human being she is. It seems almost wrong to call her a human being. Oy. Most people are actually incapable of visualizing the awfulness of her. I have trouble hanging on to it which is why it is so important to be reminded. Otherwise, I tend to relax, let go of vigilance, and then I am in trouble. Thank goodness I never relaxed my vigilance where my kids are concerned, but when I didn't protect myself they still suffered at second hand - from having a complete fruit loop for a mother who couldn't take care of them because I was too busy reeling in shock and unable to cope with reality thanks to, often, just a few words with that woman on the telephone. I want to say that thing. Ugh. But anyway. A lovely day today. My body was/is shit, so I spent almost the whole day in bed, but I got to work a new jigsaw puzzle with Zechy and a little bit of help from Simcha and Havva. We read aloud from and have almost finished Journey to the River Sea. Unfortunately it is riveting, as we couldn't possibly stay up 'til midnight to finish it. We did finish My Side of the Mountain. When it was over, Eliyahu was disappointed, it didn't seem like a finish. Zechy says there is another book, so heaven help me now I have to try and find it. We chatted and played with dogs. BatZion's kids played here almost the whole day and BatZion showed up around chicken-feeding time. I managed to avoid talking to her. I just don't have the energy for it and I am not interested. Chicken feeding went well and was fun. The two hens setting on the nest are looking crankier and more tetchy by the day. Which is a good sign. Havva found a veterinarian book which recommends oiling the chickens every ten days for thirty days. So we are being a lot more relaxed about it. I doubt we'll wait ten whole days, but we won't stress about doing it ever other day as we have been. I stopped children and hugged them and thanked them for various birthday presents and for the party. I did give John a hard time about not even telling Hans we were having it. We're doing better, John and I. He says he didn't take it personally, and I didn't mean it meanly. So, cool. John and I watched some honeymooners tonight, but I wasn't up to finishing, we stopped in the middle of an episode. John and I talked a little bit about my health, my conversation with Diana, my mother-monster, and then got ready for bed. I played with the dogs a little bit, too, but then kept them out of my room. Chamudah kept me from sleeping most of last night, and took all the legroom on the bed during the day today as well. Enough is enough. I need sleep sometime. I'm listening to just general household noises 0 bleats so far:: Yesterdays : Tomorrows ::
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