I'm grateful for: the fan in my room; the air conditioner in the salon; fly swatters.

I can't seem to stop playing things over and over inside my head. I talked to Jessica this morning, and I find myself replaying bits of the conversation endlessly, and some part of my brain trying to analyze the bits for ... what? I haven't a clue. This is not helping me to sleep.

It's not just Jessica or just the current situation. As far as I can remember I've always done this. Not everything, and I don't know what makes one 'bit' to be rehashed endlessly but another one easily slides to the back of my memory.

If I could figure out how to get my brain to do that with the Hebrew I'm trying to learn I think I'd be fluent by now. It's mostly going on in the background, but comes to the foreground when I'm playing solitaire on the computer for instance.

Is there something I'm trying to tell myself? Or is this sort of like telling worry dolls. I used to have a set of worry dolls from Mexico, I think. I could use something like that now.

It really is hotter than hell is supposed to be here now. There are fires the length of the country many of which were just started by the sun heating up the dry grasses. It's hotter today, each day is hotter than the last, and this is the first night it hasn't cooled off at night enough to feel some relief. The heat wave is supposed to last another couple of days, Hashem help us!

My biggest problem remains lack of sleep. After I don't know how many nights of four hours sleep, last night I actually managed about six. Not a huge help. John goes to work tomorrow, so I can't lie in bed all day tomorrow. I am starting to really look forward to the teenagers coming home again. Another couple of weeks, it is.

Sitting up after midnight typing this probably isn't helping, but I doubt it's hurting, either. I've spent far too much time lying down in bed with my eyes closed but awake to believe that if I weren't on the computer I would then be able to sleep.

I believe I'm all caught up on my email, amazingly enough. If there is someone I owe an email to who reads this, please let me know, because if I haven't written I've lost whatever-it-was I was supposed to respond to.

I'm almost all caught up on my snail mail by the simple act of filing all the letters I wanted to respond to, and accepting that at least for now it's not meant to be.

I guess I'm going to finish this and start the attempts to fall asleep. Thank goodness nothing lasts - I know it won't continue like this forever. Today that is a blessed thought.

I'm listening to Queen: Friends Will Be Friends

:: Yesterdays : Tomorrows ::

~~~Last Five Entries~~~
Hi and goodbye - 2010-10-15
I'll be moving on - 2010-10-10
Gold membership and stuff - 2010-10-10
Decisions, decisions - 2010-10-07
Days to go - 2010-10-06