I'm grateful for: getting another grody flashback out; getting some assorted stuff done that I'd been wanting to; taking it easy on myself.

Wow, I haven't seen so much red on my buddy list in a while. Unfortunately tonight I can only write a bit and try to sleep. And it's after 1am already.

It turns out that what was happening last night (not wanting to sleep) was a new grody flashback. So, I got that in the morning. No fun, really. I mean, I'm glad this stuff surfaces rather than staying buried deep and poisoning my life, and all, but I think I could live without all of it, personally. You know, without the abuse so there are no memories to surface? I could go with that. Well, tough luck, that's not my life. So this morning I stayed in bed and had grody flashback - didn't surface until after 1:30pm. I hate that.

It's like this stuff steals my whole life, if only temporarily these days.

So that was one thing. And another thing is that my suspicions were fully and completely confirmed. Which is to say that Valerie DID, in fact, engineer the whole thing to have DYFS take the kids away. Ben (who works at the hospital) talked to the E.R. doctor, wanting to know why, if he thought the kids were at such risk they needed to be taken away in the middle of the night, did he wait *Six Hours* (!!!) to make the report. E.R. dr. told Ben that he wasn't sure, and in fact was debating whether or not to report it, because he WASN'T sure about it being abuse - but the hospital got an 'anonymous' phone call asking about Abby and wanting to make sure that the hospital did the 'right thing,' about it. At that point the dr. felt that he hadn't a choice about reporting (he is a mandated reporter, and he did have doubts).

This anonymous phone call had to come from someone who knew that Abby had been taken to the hospital, which hospital, that it was her leg that was hurt ... the choices of culprit are few and far between, yup, besides of course Valerie.

This anonymous phone call was IN ADDITION to Valerie filing charges of abuse and neglect against Jessica, Ben and Chris directly with DYFS. On the same day that they took Abby to the hospital.

One might be wanting to keep an open mind that perhaps Valerie was genuinely concerned for the well-being of the kids, except that throughout the first few weeks at least of this she lied to Jessica, maintained that she totally believed that they weren't bad parents and that she was 'helping' them by taking the kids rather than having them put in foster care... Not to mention if she was genuinely concerned for the well-being of the kids, wouldn't it have been better, made more sense, for her to TALK to Jessica about it, instead of making anonymous phone calls and pretending to her face that she was completely clueless about this?

So, I had said before I thought this was all Valerie's machinations. I'm not happy about this, but in a way it feels good to have suspicions confirmed and no longer in question. I am also incredibly angry at the bitch. Since I last wrote about it there have been further wrinkles in the situation, which involved Valerie using and (I think) abusing the grandkids in order to get at Jessica and even more at Ben (apparently for believing that Jessica was abused by her uncle, and also for having spoken to his lawyer and taken the lawyer's advice, however belatedly). It's just unspeakably awful.

I am grateful that I am unlikely to ever have to be present in the same room with her or her husband Chris. I don't know which would be worse - having to control myself or failing to.

Not much other news ... our next-door neighbour Tzion wants us to start a petting zoo, and is willing do the work himself to get it going if we will only do it. I actually am a little bit positive about it. I have my doubts about Tzion doing all the work, especially doing it in a way I want it, but it's something we could keep up if it once got started, and fits very well into how we live here.

I'm having trouble with my guts again, diarrhea, which makes for more dehydration worries. I'm trying to keep drinking water, and doing better at it now than I was during the day. *sigh*

I also didn't get more than one load of laundry done today. Not good. And what I have to do is loads that go in the dryer, which we prefer to do at night if possible. Not possible tonight. Ah, well.

I'm going to try and get some sleep I guess. Oh! I forgot to mention I actually got some postcards written, addressed and stamped today. Hopefully will be mailed tomorrow. That is a big deal, something I've been wanting to do for a while.

And got email asking how I'm doing from friend Jennifer now living out in L.A. That was a nice treat. And being able to respond, another treat.

I'm sagging now. Time to stop.

I'm listening to Frank Zappa: Cosmik Debris

:: Yesterdays : Tomorrows ::

~~~Last Five Entries~~~
Hi and goodbye - 2010-10-15
I'll be moving on - 2010-10-10
Gold membership and stuff - 2010-10-10
Decisions, decisions - 2010-10-07
Days to go - 2010-10-06