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Honey is Sweet

My diary - 2007-09-21

I'd kind of lost track of the idea that this is a diary, and I write it for myself. For a long while, knowing there were other people reading it - that I wasn't just talking/typing to myself, helped me to keep writing.

If it's not helping anymore, I need to think about what has to change.

My son-in-law pissed me off this week, with two emails DEMANDING my attention. Not about anything important, it's some website he's joined and wants me to join. I spent a couple of hours working through my anger at him.

It's silly, but there is a huge fear that if I don't respond he will read all kinds of rejection or something awful into it and so it feels like a gun held to my head. Like some part of me can't bear the idea of someone else getting mad at me or disliking me when it is just me being too bloody busy. I managed to write to both Hans and Jessica this week, which for me is some kind of miracle. And really, my son and daughter take priority over a mere son-in-law...

I wrote Ben a nice-ish note, basically telling I'm too busy to be bothered. If he'd written me a personal email, I would have made a real effort to respond, but really, a site-invitation? *sigh*

I've got to get some sleep, it being only a bit after 2:30 am. The day was too full, and I'm fretting about money again. And tomorrow night is Yom Kippur. An easy fast to anyone reading this who fasts. May you all be written and sealed for a good and sweet new year. And, good night.

0 bleats so far

:: Yesterdays : Tomorrows ::

~~~Last Five Entries~~~
Hi and goodbye - 2010-10-15
I'll be moving on - 2010-10-10
Gold membership and stuff - 2010-10-10
Decisions, decisions - 2010-10-07
Days to go - 2010-10-06