I'm really too tired for this. *Sigh* Big, big, big day. Up early to go to the hospital for post-surgery check-up. Out the door late in honour of an email from my mother. I had no idea what had gotten in to her. She said she hoped I was doing better and that the surgery was successful. That was it.

I called both RS (real sister) and FB (foster brother), to tell them about it and wonder and try and figure this out. I did get hold of my sister first thing. It turns out mother sent me this email because my sister had had a fight with her, and said it was 'abominable' that mother hadn't even emailed to see if I was okay.

That isn't what got mother to email me, though, really. It was the part when my sister started asking mother 'did you ever care about her (me)?' 'When did you care?' 'Was it one year ago?' 'Was it five years ago?' 'Did you care when she was six?' Mother refused to answer, and hung up on her. I'm describing it badly. My sister did a terrific job, in that this is the first time she stuck to her guns whatever mother said and refused to be led. Not the topic I might have chosen, but then it's her and not me.

On the way to the hospital, FB called, so I told him a bit about it. He wasn't feeling good so it was a short conversation. I didn't know at the time, but I think that mother's email and all that worked out to be a counter- rather than an added-irritant. It worked that I didn't fret at the hospital, and also at the hospital I didn't fret about mother.

Coming home early (very short visit as it turned out) I went out with the husband (TH) and two of my kids and my big Australian Sheepdog, and did our first training in having her (the dog) pull me along. We tied the lead ropes from the harness to my wheelchair, and tied me into the wheelchair. It worked beautifully! Obviously a proper dog cart would be better, but since this is what I have... I have hopes, distant hopes, but hopes nonetheless that someday I can be more independent by having my dog take me (for instance) to the makolet (local market) or visiting. It would be pretty wonderful.

After that I took the goats to the 'home field.' That's about five acres of wheat field directly behind the house. It's not being worked this year (it's a shmitta year. Not up to explaining right now), and the farmer who leases it told us to go ahead and graze the goats there. So we did. It worked for a short time, then the goats made a break for our backyard, their usual pasture, and I decided to let them go. We were in the home field for between one and two hours.

Then sitting in the backyard, keeping the goats away from the spot in fence they'd found ways to get out, and watching my chickens. Very happy for me.

Back in the house later, long conversation with my sister, including reading her an attempted response to my mother's email. Not sure I wanted to respond, so that was what some of the talk was about. My life works really well when I have no contact with my mother.

John (TH) decided to be quite dickheaded around then, although he made some pretty decent spaghetti & sauce for supper, and helped me to do a vegetable soup. So not a complete dickhead.

This was the night we go out together, sometimes to a movie, our chance to be alone together without any children interrupting. We ended up spending fifteen or twenty minutes pulled up along the side of the road with me coaching him in breathing. My life is sometimes too weird, you know? He does this thing where he inhales, then lets it all out with one of his big *sigh*s, and THEN talks, in a flat, emotionless, fake voice. You should just hear him say 'I'm sorry' like that. So by the end of this I had him breathing in, and then talking using that breath. It made a huge difference. As far as I can tell, he's been keeping himself oxygen starved his whole life. Oy.

We also have a sort of agreement, that if he sighs at me I get to hit him. On the head. Or face, I can't quite remember which it was. See, it's a very simple equation, one I figured out long ago but couldn't put to words until recently. If he is sighing, he is lying. Now, I know it's not true of all or even most people, but it is true of my husband. If we are talking about anything at all, and he gives out one of his big *sigh*s, then whatever it is he's saying is a lie. The difference (and lucky I can perceive one) between my husband and my mother (in their lying) is that my husband actually is putting some effort into changing. I don't know if it will ever bear fruit that actually affects our lives, but heck, it sure is better than the alternatives.

After that we came back to the house, and played a rail game. In the middle of the rail game we got a phone call from my oldest son (S1) Hans. All by itself that is reason for celebration, but better still, he has a job! It sounds like a good job for someone just starting out, working at a warehouse making almost $10/hour. I don't know what salaries are like in the U.S. anymore, but that sounds good to me.

He also had some good news about a friend of his in the army, one who had problems in the same unit in basic. The friend was able to get transferred to a different unit, and did amazingly well, getting honours as the best recruit in the brigade. Pretty cool.

He gave us a house number for the phone, so we can call him now, too. So, it's all wonderfully good.

After the call the children cleared out again, we finished our rail game, and watched the first episode of the second season of Waiting for G-d, which has just arrived this week. It was really hysterical, we were laughing out loud.

Oh, I left out that Zechy (S2) had a driving lesson and Havva (D2 - our second daughter) came down with the boy she takes care of in order to vote in our local elections tomorrow. So we have a full house as well.

Now it's almost 2am and I have to be up at 7am to go to the shuk tomorrow for a day almost as full as today was. Pray for me. I have company coming. Ugh. (I've nothing against company when I can rest and it's for having fun).

Fortunately, John can do the driving.

Good night.

:: Yesterdays : Tomorrows ::

~~~Last Five Entries~~~
Hi and goodbye - 2010-10-15
I'll be moving on - 2010-10-10
Gold membership and stuff - 2010-10-10
Decisions, decisions - 2010-10-07
Days to go - 2010-10-06