I'm grateful for: feeling better; a clean water glass; a little escape.

I've been feeling kind of lost, not quite sure where I'm at what's going on with me. I think a whole lot of it is just having TH's work schedule thrown completely up in the air, and not knowing from one day to the next what to expect, and having things be a little two close to the edge that way.

I feel like I need to work harder on prayer, getting back in touch with Hashem, I want it to be second nature again as it was for a while. I always feel better when I am able to do that.

I went to the chiropracter & acupuncturist. The chiro was obsessed, or maybe possessed. It's like he was trying to fix everything all at once. He worked on me for something like twenty minutes longer than the other two times. It made a difference, too, when I finally got up from the table I definitely felt different. Better. Not all better, but better.

The acupuncture was good, too, although I forgot to mention for the second time about the peripheral neuropathy. It's been pretty bad in my right hand, mostly the fingertips, but it doesn't matter too much where when it feels like it's been stuck in the heat of a huge fire, or having some kind of electric pains. It's not going to kill me or even seriously interfere with my life, but it is awfully distracting and really no fun. So I hope next time I remember to mention it before he sticks the needles in. It would be nice to have something done for that.

Afterward, TH needed to pee, and S3 decided he did too, and then D3 went off with them and I made a break for it. I guess I was feeling better. I was still in the wheelchair, but got myself into a lift, down to the main floor of the kenyone (mall), and was halfway to a shop I wanted to check out before they caught up with me. It was really wonderful to be going off by myself - you can only imagine it if you've been dependent on other people to get you anywhere for any length of time. It's not a huge deal for all I'm giving it a lot of space, but it was fun.

Actually, maybe it was a bigger deal than I think. 'Cause to me it was just a bit of fun, but one of the less funny family 'jokes' is that someone, usually one of the kids, says he or she will be back later, or at some time, or in a few minutes, whatever, and I always respond "I'll be here." 'Cause I will. It's not like I can get up and wander off anywhere on my own, often I can't even get out of bed without help. So, anyway, they went away and when they came back, I wasn't where they had left me. Hee.

Anyway, then there was shopping, and back home for falafel, with D2 in tow. She came down on the bus to meet us in Be'er Sheva, and we drove her home from there. It's lovely having her here for the weekend. :-)

RS phoned twice while we were out, but S2, who was home holding the fort, says he missed the calls. Then I, not thinking, deleted the messages. I'll try and phone tomorrow, I trust whatever it was wasn't urgent.

I've been feeling sick in a new and different way - and I'm thinking maybe I need to try and cut down on dairy. A new thought for me, I've always been able to eat lots of dairy without problems, butter, cheese, ice cream, you name it. Now, for the first time I can remember, I'm finding the smell and taste of butter distasteful, and trying to avoid eating too much cheese (which TH puts on anything and everything). Tonight there was garlic bread, with huge amounts of butter and cheese, and popcorn with actually not too much butter, but a fair amount for normal times. I felt fairly ill for a while after eating it (this was watching a movie together, a family thing), and I've had digestive upset most of the night so far (it's after 2am). I really, really thing the problem is the dairy. Maybe just the butter, or maybe just the cheese. I actually have had some problems with cheese in the past, mainly because I am allergic to some kinds of cheese. Never had a problem with really basic cheese, like mozzarella before. Which is what this was. So, I'm going to try.

It would be easier if I could prepare my own food. TH is deucedly unhelpful, as won't surprize anyone who's been reading for a while. If I ask him to cut back, he'll either ignore it, or stop giving me any dairy at all, and/or give me a horrible hard time about each and every meal. He doesn't handle concepts like 'a little' or 'a lot' either. When I have asked for a little bit of baked potato, I can get anything from a little bit, up to and including a whole meal in a potato. Or I can ask for a lot, and it comes in the same range. See the problem? Of course TH has an excuse every time, so it's not HIS fault. *sigh*

So instead of asking him to put less butter on my rye toast in the morning, I may have to switch to something else for my morning bread. I'm thinking I should cut down on either the butter or the cheese, not both at once, and see if it makes a difference. It's all so hard. Eating and food has always been difficult for me (I'm one of those people who really wants them to develop meal pills for me), and I'm just adding a layer. But I really don't want to feel badly like this if I can help it. *sigh*

It probable also means having to eat more meat, as I do need to keep the protein intake up. Meat is expensive. More here than anyone in the U.S. could appreciate. So, anyway...

So much has been going on, my head is in a whirl.

For instance, D1 phoned us up the other night, was it only last night?, to tell us that they are 'marrying' another person. That is, she and her legal husband and her other husband are going to increase their family by another woman, who would then presumably be wife to them all. Please understand, I am not judging, but I do lack appropriate words for this. I'm happy, because I really believe the whole menage will be much more stable and presumably more sane and happy with this addition. I'm a bit worried, D1 is not the most sane or stable person in my family (although certainly not the least!), and what with the problems with the social services I really hope that they can work this out without harming or jeopardizing the children any further.

I get in an instant two more grandchildren, which is pretty cool. I wish they could be closer - it may be a small world, but it's not THAT small - trust me on that.

One of the ways it is a small world is that TH is working on a project for a company in Japan now. Not right now of course, not only because it's after 2am, but also because he can't seem to talk to the server he needs to at work. Or, rather, his laptop can't. He's been in to the office twice this week to try and fix the problem already, and is figuring that he'll be spending a long day there on Yom Rishon (Sunday) as well.

If they can get the computer communication problems fixed, then he'll be able to work on a similar schedule to the one he had before his previous contract ended. So that would be really good. And at least they didn't stick him back at Bank Leumi. That would have been just awful.

I shouldn't speak too soon, he still could end up there. He's not there now, though, which is reason enough to be grateful.

My fingers are working better lately, for typing. I wonder if I'll be able to pick up knitting again, that would be wonderful. Then maybe I can finish that blanket I started for a friend's baby about three years ago. Or, not. Who knows? Unfortunately, I haven't a clue.

Not that I haven't got plenty to write about, buy my brain has gone blank, and I'll take that as a a sign I should probably be trying to get some sleep. It's not quite 2:30 yet. I would like to be awake for as many sunlight hours as I can get.

I'm listening to the fan on the big computer.

:: Yesterdays : Tomorrows ::

~~~Last Five Entries~~~
Hi and goodbye - 2010-10-15
I'll be moving on - 2010-10-10
Gold membership and stuff - 2010-10-10
Decisions, decisions - 2010-10-07
Days to go - 2010-10-06