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Honey is Sweet

Hullo - 2008-01-27

I'm grateful for: My amazing family; an unexpected good mood; writing this earlier than usual.

Hullo, hullo, hullo, it's actually before 1am. I thought it was an hour later. I don't know why, but I'm glad it is not.

I slept until after noon again today. I don't have to tell you again that I hate that. Then I was pretty much in bed all day. S2 read aloud from Going Postal by Terry Pratchett. It wasn't as good as some earlier parts of the book which had us laughing so hard it hurt. Still, it was a good thing to do, the whole family sitting in my room (except for D2), and enjoying a book together like that.

I took a bit of a nap and had a few grody flashbacks, fun times let me tell you. Then it was havdalah (the end of shabbos), and we all had some fun just talking, being together, 'til it was time for me to phone my sister. Ended up being on the phone with sister (RS) and FB for about an hour and a half. We all pretty much took turns crying. FB is feeling sorry for himself 'cause life is hard, you know. It is. And RS spent a weekend with mother, so there you go, no further explanation necessary. Me, I was crying about being crippled and spending my life in bed. It just sucks, you know? Sometimes I can't help feeling it.

It's especially hard 'cause I keep having these little spurts of feeling/being better. So each time they end I get depressed all over again. I'm actually okay as far as living my life in bed, or in my room. Not happy about it, but I've spent enough time like that that I've made accommodations. Not that I would want to give up the spurts of feeling/being better, but the truth is if I just spent my life in bed I'd just settle in and accept it. I've done it before.

So, well, it suck and there it is. But I have my computers and my books and my music and my kids and everything and I'm okay. I just needed to have a good cry about it.

So, after the conference call I got to talk to S1 for a bit. He is still with RS, and it seems to be working out very well. He says it's his first real vacation - when he doesn't have to stress about anything, and can spend the day on the computer, or just hanging out. He went to a Science Fiction convention in Boston last weekend (I may already have said, I don't recall). Anyway, he's just having a nice, easy time, and enjoying it. A break from real life.

Lessee, so after that I actually did get out of bed to go and sit on my exercise bike. I did about twenty minutes, sat up to finish the Columbo episode we had started, then went to hang over the back of the sofa (chiropracter calls it traction, says I need to do it every night). Then back to bed.

I'm in an almost unreasonably bright mood given everything. D2 is going back to Petakh Tikvah tomorrow morning with TH and I probably won't be seeing her. So it will be a quiet-ish day at home with S2 and S3 and D3. Somehow, it's all good.

How on earth did my kids get so grown up? D2 is getting her own apartment (I think it's an 'efficiency' according to some, in Hebrew it's called a 'room apartment'). S2 with his license, S1 coming home, not because he couldn't make it on his own, but because he did go out on his own and figured out he'd rather be here (Israel) than there (the U.S.). Of course D1 with two kids and husbands and all that trouble with the social services isn't necessarily at the highest point of her life, but she certainly is grown up. Wow.

Well, I think that's enough for one day. Rambling on.

I'm listening to The Grateful Dead: Beautiful Jam (from So Many Roads)

0 bleats so far

:: Yesterdays : Tomorrows ::

~~~Last Five Entries~~~
Hi and goodbye - 2010-10-15
I'll be moving on - 2010-10-10
Gold membership and stuff - 2010-10-10
Decisions, decisions - 2010-10-07
Days to go - 2010-10-06