I'm grateful for: a celebration of me; birthday gifts of old books; yummy cake; three chicks; a successful meeting launch; writing this before 4am. :-)

Still having really bad pain. I am beyond sick of this. Moving is horrible. Lying still isn't a whole lot better. I can't pay attention properly to anything or anyone 'cause so much of me is going into coping with the pain. I took the pills I have for pain today - they aren't pain meds, they are two different types of muscle relaxant. They helped enough for me to be able to recognize how bad it had to have been if I hurt this bad *now.*

This just sucks.

FB came out from Jerusalem for a birthday celebration for me. Everyone gave me earrings, which is good because I collect earrings. S2 gave me a Pogo book, for anyone not old enough to remember Pogo was a comic full of the most biting satire. Wonderful stuff. It's the earliest place I can recall the line 'We have me the enemy, and he is us.' I don't remember if he coined the phrase, but I think so. Anyway, the book is a Pogo Stepmother Goose. I read some of the Pogo version of the Pied Piper aloud, we all enjoyed it hugely. I'm looking forward to reading it all.

S1 gave me a copy of the first translation of the Torah into English (or maybe it's the first translation into American English? I should check that out). It's full of 'thee's and 'thou's and 'causeth's and 'doeth's. It grates - the Torah (or, the old testament) was written in what was everyday language of the time. And the psalms are pretty King James-ish, I think. I don't really know the King James edition, but I imagine it's just like this. So, I'll stick to the translation I've been using, but it's still quite a lovely gift.

I don't actually collect old books exactly. I collect dictionaries. But I may end up branching out, with my children's help.

D3 baked me a cake and made the frosting herself, our first successful homemade frosting (at least since I was cooking - however many years ago that was). Very yummy.

FB was only able to stay for a couple of hours, so I hope it was worth it for him. He didn't talk to me at all, other than hello, and he may have said something when he handed me his presents (three pairs of earrings). S3 monopolized FB, which I thinkw as fine with all of the rest of us, S3 being the only one not old enough to have been really affected by FB's behaviour while he still lived with us.

The rest of the day was just being in my room, visiting with S1 and D2 who came home for the party and shabbos.

I did make it out to feed the birds. The three chicks and their mom have moved, at least for shabbos, into the larger lul. I only saw two of the chicks, so I have to trust and pray that I just didn't see the third (who is black, so it's not unreasonable). The goats got out to the front yard to graze and mow the lawn, and that part was all good, although the moving and the pain were really too much, and I was cranky and just not pleasant to be with.

We watched Armaggedan (I can't spell that) for our Friday night movie, a movie which if I'd never seen more than once would have been just fine. But, it worked out as a fun movie, we all griped about what was annoying in it (too much slow motion, music in space, some rather irritating goofs like it being daytime all over the world at the same time), ate pizza and popcorn and chocolate and drank soda and had our generally happy Friday night family time.

The Friday night movie tradition got started many years ago when we still had our farm in Massachusetts, as the only way I could actually get all of my kids to be together with us adults in the same room at the same time, something I thought was rather important, especially on shabbos. Now, years later, we all get together in one room quite naturally, but the Friday night movie continues.

I did get my email meeting started, with rather more stress than it really needed, but less than I would have managed at any time in the past. So, that's all good. And so far there's been a positive response, good for us! Hashem definitely did it, not me, but the important thing is that it is done. *Phew* I hate being responsible. I suppose I hate it mostly because I am so very good at it. It's way too easy for me to take on too much responsibility, and then I hurt myself rather than let things go.

Lately I've actually been making the conscious choice to let things go, and that feels like sh*t, too. And this is me doing better. I hope I will find a balance I can live with during this lifetime.

D1 phoned tonight, but well after sundown, so I have to hope she wasn't freaking out or having a crisis (her usual reasons for calling). I'm sure everything is okay really. The last time she was freaking out it really was over absolutely nothing - but when you are freaking out you haven't got enough working reason to figure that out for yourself I think.

I feel pretty awful (as I started out saying) so I'm going to stop and hopefully get to sleep. Be well, all, and Gd bless.

I'm listening to Mark Nelson reading Jeeves and the Unbidden Guest by P G Wodehouse.

:: Yesterdays : Tomorrows ::

~~~Last Five Entries~~~
Hi and goodbye - 2010-10-15
I'll be moving on - 2010-10-10
Gold membership and stuff - 2010-10-10
Decisions, decisions - 2010-10-07
Days to go - 2010-10-06