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Honey is Sweet Feeling it - 2008-06-06 I'm grateful for: money that will cover this insane shopping spree I'm on; Pepsi in glass bottles; not having to talk to people if I don't want to. I'm still not talking to people and no one seems to have noticed. Is that a bad thing or a good thing? I'm not doing this for attention (good thing), I'm just wondering if it is meaningful in some way. *I* don't know. Today was a crazy day. I did sleep last night, woke up after almost 8 hours sleep, then was able to fall asleep again for a little. I don't really feel better. 2nd big shopping day in a row. Food, postcard blanks, watch repairs, more food. Tomorrow TH is going shopping without me (fear) to buy some things we weren't able to pick up today, and a cd player or two, headphones, a broom. IF he remembers. And he has to remember to only charge 350NIS on the Isracard - CAN he remember? I have little hope. I feel like I'm a fine one to say anything, my memory having slid off the edge, and lucky to remember a name for ten minutes. Or anything. But my memory is still more reliable than his by several orders of magnitude... I needed to get my hair washed today, with some medicated shampoo, but instead TH went off to be with a friend. I can't really complain, it was the friend's father's yahrtzeit (anniversary of his death), and a tremendous party, almost a command performance as the widow (and friend's mother) is one of the matriarchs here on our moshav. But I can complain, 'cause TH stayed late and forgot all about my hair. And has scheduled tomorrow so full already I doubt he'll find time. I've been feeling particularly whiney about being disabled and not being able to do things (cook, clean my house, wash my own hair) lately. It sucks being whiney and self-pitying. Sometimes I have to cut myself some slack and just be miserable for a while, but it's never fun. I stopped by my friend MS in Bareqet's home yesterday for a short while, and I talked almost non-stop. I expect that is because I haven't been talking to people, and it just pours out. Unless I always talk like that and am unaware of it. Which is unlikely... *wry grin* Now I'm afraid to try to talk with anyone, 'cause if I'm going to have diarrhea of the mouth, I'd rather not inflict it on anyone I'm going to have to see again. I know, I know, I have no control over that either. *sigh* I'm going to stop. I'm supposed to be writing on a topic for a group I'm in, and I really can't put it off any longer, although I'd like to. It's supposed to be ready Friday, and it's after 2am on Friday now. Feeling sorry for myself, wah, wah, wah, it really sucks. But when I can't have what I want, and I can't stop wanting it (a clean house?), what is left? I'm listening to The Clash: Straight To Hell 0 bleats so far:: Yesterdays : Tomorrows ::
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