I'm grateful for: TH making me breakfast; a few moments alone at the start of the day; managing to read ten whole pages to myself today.

Yesterday continued quiet-ish. No jigsaw puzzle was worked, no temple model built. S2 read aloud to me from Quicksilver (Neal Stephenson), which is our current book we are reading together. He and I have gotten into a habit with that, and it works very well for us. Sometimes some of the others join us, but not so often, and not for a long book like this one (one of three, the three volumes comprising eight books).

S2 often reads to me before I go to sleep. It's backwards, I know, but it really helps me to sleep, and he enjoys it, so it works.

D2 and I talked. She said she wanted conversation, so we talked for a while about this and that. Nothing very important or interesting that I can recall. We didn't study Torah or do any of the things we probably 'should' have done. TH went to the beit knesset (shul)((temple/synogogue)) - I've been here long enough I forgot for a moment that most people won't know what a 'shul' is.

I joined a phone meeting at which the topic was Gd's in charge, and I ended up talking a whole lot longer than I thought I would. I think mostly what I needed to talk about is that the things I don't have (last entry), I have to identify as wants, NOT needs, because me needs ARE being provided. It's hard, that. I want things I want to be needs so I can insist on getting them, or something like that.

Anyway, it was good, and afterward I talked with my sister for quite some time. She's just moved into a new apartment in the (*gasp*) 508 area code. She is strictly a city person as I am a country person, so the move to 508 is a bit hard. No, it's a lovely place, and it is NOT in Worcester, it is terribly suburban. It's not that either of us have anything against suburbs per se, rather that it is simply not a part of our self-image. So, she is either going to have to change her self-image a bit, or live with a jarring discontinuity for a while. She really does like her apartment. :-)

We had a bit of yelling earlier (RS and I) about D1's presumably ex-husband. He's left her, but I've heard nothing about an official divorce, so who knows what happens with that? RS is a bit of a co-dependent from hell. She's definitely one of the people I had to get away from in order to get better. The type of person who had no problems as long as I *was* the problem. Anyway, the presumed ex- is also quite the co-dependent. An evil bastard who talked down to my daughter, did not respect her, and had the boundaries of a two-year-old, which is to say, none at all. That, btw, was my opinion of him when I first met him.

There was no saying anything to D1, though, and as long as she seemed reasonably happy and he wasn't doing anything horrific I kept my tongue between my teeth and life went on. Now he's gone, and it is seriously good riddance to bad rubbish. I don't want to talk about what he did that was the last straw, it's not my story or my business. But RS was completely - shall I say amazed? - that she had never seen what a rat-bastard the guy was. She wasn't amazed that he IS one, but she couldn't get her head around the fact that she had missed it.

*sigh*

The fight largely centred around her need to 'understand' simply everything, and her assumption that if she didn't understand that meant someone was lying or something. Basically she wanted to label the presumed ex- a child-abuser and blame him for D1 losing the kids for more than a year (despite that fact that the judge and social services people themselves admitted there was no cause for the accusation) - because they had failed to answer, to her satisfaction, her questions about what had happened the night GD1 broke her leg.

Wow, have I made a hash of writing a coherent narrative here. Well, I guess it's too bad, I'm not going to even try and clean it up. It's not that important.

I ended up yelling at RS that if she couldn't accept that life is messy, and she isn't going to understand everything, and if she continued to demand that people's answers had to make sense to her, then she and I were not good for the long haul. That's not how I said it of course. Pretty darn close, actually, as I re-read it.

Well, RS did finally get my point (even though I didn't even make it here, not really), and said she was starting to see what I meant. Slowly, slowly. I'm glad she is in recovery, it is good to have a sibling to talk to. And she is no longer the co-dependent from hell - rather, just a co-dependent who is working on her shit. A VERY nice difference.

My hands are hurting, so that is it for me.

I"m listening to airplanes (and possibly choppers) flying low overhead. Trying to figure them out - I think that last one was probably a crop-duster, but the one before was definitely military. I can't see them, so I am guessing by the sounds they make. :-)

:: Yesterdays : Tomorrows ::

~~~Last Five Entries~~~
Hi and goodbye - 2010-10-15
I'll be moving on - 2010-10-10
Gold membership and stuff - 2010-10-10
Decisions, decisions - 2010-10-07
Days to go - 2010-10-06