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Honey is Sweet I'm back. - 2008-10-10 I'm grateful for: the internet, again; a room with a door I can close; loving doggies. I just got the internet back, it was gone for a while here. The fast went very well, which is to say I was able to fast completely for the first time in years without ill effects. The kids did great - everyone fasts now except S3, who is still only nine. S3 has been doing a great job making movies with his camera. I was going to put some more up here, but I can't today, and may not get around to it. I'm glad some of you like them. He is cute. ;-) In other news, well, I made an 'amends' if you will, to TH for not having been a 'good enough' wife in his estimation. I did NOT apologize. I have nothing to apologize for, as there is no possible way in hell anyone could be a good enough wife according to his lights. So. At present I am in my room. I may or may not go out, but what I am NOT doing is going out into the house when he is at large. And I've already told him we will have to work out a schedule in which he spends some period of time locked up in HIS room, so I have the freedom to move about and have a life when he is at home. I don't know if it makes any sense to anyone not here, but for the moment it is the best I can come up with. I am willing to move out, but have no place to go and no money to live on if I were to go. I have my disability, which will support *me*, but I cannot go without the children, and I cannot support us all. So, that's all there is... I will not spend any more of my time, or my life, or my life-energy with people who choose to think that I am not good enough. I've had enough of that. It sucks the life out of me, literally. The time I don't spend bracing myself against them, defending myself from them, and trying to avoid the bad consequences of interacting with them is much better spent doing things I value. Like knitting. I am knitting again!!! I cannot tell you how happy I am to be able to knit again. It's funny how it works, one day I just picked up the needles and there it was. I am FINALLY finishing a baby blanket I started for someone here in Israel almost four years ago. When I do finish it (I'm assuming I will, just a couple more days to finish the last panel, then sewing the panels together, then a simple edging), I will finally begin making baby blankets for my grandkids. Although they will have to be toddler's blankets or school-kids blankets by now. That's okay, I'm really looking forward to it. Hashem willing that I can keep knitting. I hope. There was something else but I am drawing a blank. And typing is hard. It was very hard having no internet access. I have tons of email and all kinds of other stuff to do now. I'm working on it slowly, slowly. I'm listening to a dog trying to get in the back screen door, or trying to get someone's attention to let him/her in. 0 bleats so far:: Yesterdays : Tomorrows ::
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