I'm grateful for: dogs and cats and goats and chickens; fresh goat's milk; a daughter who milks the goats.

Good morning. I woke up way better this morning. I am still really sick. Some nasty virus in the throat and ears and just miserable. I mean the virus is, I am not actually that miserable. I'd say what I difference I night's sleep makes but I didn't get one.

I was up with the dogs, one of the cats, S3, more dogs... Oh, yes, and my sister phoned in the wee, small hours of the morning. Here it was very late - she wanted information for her insurance at work.

I got maybe two and a half hours sleep before being woken up the first time this morning. Then another three, maybe. I can't remember when was the last time I had enough sleep. But I did wake up better this morning. It's later, the sun is shining in my room, and as far as I know there are no missiles falling. I haven't checked the news yet this morning, but there's a more peaceful feel in the air.

I have this appointment with the doctor, and then absolutely nothing I have to do for the rest of the day. Well, a bath and washing my hair would be good, and I want to teach D3 how to make my terrific, world's best tomato soup, but that isn't *necessary.* I've been teaching her to cook things, one or two a week. I never got to do that with D2 (or D1 for that matter), so there is the satisfaction of that, as well as the knowledge that we are eating better.

Last week we made lasagna, we make a vegetarian three cheese lasagna, no spinach just the cheese. It is yummier with ricotta cheese, but can't get that here, so we use cottage cheese, and it is still really yummy.

I think if you could see some of the funny typos I make you would enjoy them too, but I'm too compulsive to leave them in. Such is life.

I also showed her how to fry potatoes. Not such a big deal, but every little bit helps.

The soups, for whatever reason I am particularly good at the soups. And the tomato is best. :-)

I didn't write here for a while not only because I was completely swamped, but also because I spent such a long time in a really cranky, pissy mood. And crying. So much crying.

Living with TH is just not fun. It never was, really, but I had plenty of other ways to have fun. Now I'm finding again ways to have fun, mostly with my kids. I'm listening to my kids who seem more able/willing to speak freely about him to me, and finding out that he sucks the fun out of their lives, too.

I don't know what will happen, but I have made the decision and am starting to try to save some money, with the goal of being able to live separately in four or five years. Personally I think he should move out and continue to support us, but I live in the real world. I am certainly not counting on it.

I've had other reasons for being cranky and all, too, but rather than go over it all, I want to leave it behind me as much as possible.

I've also decided, since the landlord has made it absolutely plain to us that he will not sell the house to us on any reasonable terms, that I am just not going to fret it. We are not getting another lease here, either. Paying rent a couple of months at a time, and paying down our debts. I don't mind relaxing about it and just doing the next right thing, especially if I'm not going to be living here for more than a few years anyway.

I want to go forward with building a mirpesset (porch/deck), even if we are not going to buy the house, because it will make a huge difference in our comfort living here. I don't know when/if/how that will happen though.

I'd better give up on typing, I can't begin to say how many interruptions, and D3 is babbling at me now.

I'm listening to Elvis Presley: I Was The One

:: Yesterdays : Tomorrows ::

~~~Last Five Entries~~~
Hi and goodbye - 2010-10-15
I'll be moving on - 2010-10-10
Gold membership and stuff - 2010-10-10
Decisions, decisions - 2010-10-07
Days to go - 2010-10-06