I'm grateful for: Nothing more going wrong; the weekend; a new nightgown.

I'm doing a bit better. S2 is doing a bit better. Nothing has really changed, but nothing has gotten worse, either. That is something to be grateful for.

I'm a bit angry and upset at the moment. A friend, who I called to request prayers from her and her family, tried to explain to me that things aren't as bad as I think they are. Now, for one thing I didn't itemize for her everything that is going on here, so she had/has absolutely no clue how bad it really is (I haven't written it all here, either, I don't care to complain that much, hard as that may be for some to believe). And, for another thing, who tells a friend 'no, you're wrong, it's not that bad' when being called on for prayers and support?

I shut her down, a little bit rudely. I told her to stop pumping sunshine at me, that she had no idea how bad it really is here, and all I wanted from her was her prayers, just her prayers, now go away.

I don't now why this is bothering me so much. I've been thinking about it, replaying it in my head over and over when I am dozing. --I still can't sleep properly, but I am managing more and better dozes. I don't now if I wrote it here, but I put a pillow on my computer keyboard, and when I doze off, I just let my head fall forward onto the pillow. It's not great sleep, but at least it is some sleep. I managed a whole lot of hours - more than five, less than eight at best guess - that way last night. Everyone in the house thinks it is very funny. :-)

Anyway, it continues to bug me. *sigh*

TH and S3 and D3 and I managed to get out and do all the grocery shopping (except for the few things we have to pick up tomorrow morning). Kind of a miracle, really. TH didn't drive us crazy, S3 came along because he needed pants, which we were able to find for him thank goodness. He is not a good shopping companion. D3 has a gift card for Steimatsky, which is the bookstore chain, but she was unable to find anything she wanted at the store. I staggered through two supermarkets, a clothing store twice, and once to McD's (for S3 to use the bathroom), and was not completely dead when I came home. Amazing what a few hours of dedicated dozing can do for a person. I still feel like crap, of course.

That's me ending on a positive note.

No, really. *grin* It's almost 2am, I am not managing to sleep, even much dozing, tonight. No laundry got done at all (S2 usually does most of it). S2 is still suffering with the 'flu and the rib, S1 is going back and forth between feeling vaguely human/normal and feeling sick like the rest of us. TH is pretty exhausted and sleep deprived. D3 is sick, still suffering, not from the braces, but from the teeth that were pulled. And of course from not being able to eat so many things she really likes. S3 burned himself today, because he didn't want to be left out of the fun, and a had a fairly large bit of a tooth chip off. Wah! I am NOT going to the dentist while I am sick like this. Not if I can help it, anyway.

On the upside, though, we are continuing to stumble along. D2 is very happy with school, doing okay with work, and generally well out of it here. The goats are doing well, the chickens likewise and are laying again (yippee, fresh eggs!). The dogs and cats are delightful and not being as much of a bother as sometimes. I have a new disk burner that I love, and am having much fun taking care of jobs that got stacked up while I had no working cd/dvd drive. This week from hell is over, and whatever else happens in the next, there won't be Japanese clients showing up at TH's workplace, requiring him to show up for long hours leaving an entirely debilitated household of hurt sick people alone at home. (It's not because they are Japanese of course, but because they are clients. The bosses are very uptight about wanting everything to look right for them.)

TH was also asked when he would be ready to go work in Japan for six months. I can't imagine worse timing for us, with S2 due to go in the army in May, and S1 probably going in soon as well, but maybe they won't ask him to go until next year? Anyway, TH said he'd be happy to go as long as his family could come along. :-) I think going to Japan for six months could be really great... ??? Okay, not too sure about that. Still, it's an exciting thought.

I'm really tired of being this sick. It's only been a couple of weeks, but it seems longer. Being able to sleep would make a huge difference. I've lost a great deal of respect for our primary care physician in the last two weeks as well.

Well, I'm going to give up, I don't think I'm making any sense, and I'm just rambling on because I'm tired but sleepless, and don't have a neat ending to wrap things up around.

I'm listening to the quiet. :-)

:: Yesterdays : Tomorrows ::

~~~Last Five Entries~~~
Hi and goodbye - 2010-10-15
I'll be moving on - 2010-10-10
Gold membership and stuff - 2010-10-10
Decisions, decisions - 2010-10-07
Days to go - 2010-10-06