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Honey is Sweet

Some stuff - 2008-11-29

I'm grateful for: sunny days; my old great-great-great-grand-mama cat on my bed; chewable Vitamin C.

Wow, I've so much to say. I wonder how much of it will make it to the 'page.'

I feel like I got caught out again. I was actually making plans, thinking that i had a chance of doing some things (I wrote about writing stuff I want to write here). So, of course the rug got pulled out from under me. I don't get it.

I don't suppose I have to get it, but it is really irritating. I have nothing against being a mother and household manager and support person/sponsor/shrink/mentor to bunches o' people hither and yon as the definition of my life. If I absolutely knew that that was all I could do, I think I could reconcile myself to it reasonably well. This is the life I chose.

But, I keep getting these glimpses, brief, fleeting, extremely desirable glimpses of, let's see - being able to write, being able to work, being able to exercise, or do more housework, or cook, or any of a number of extremely (to me) desirable things. And then the crash comes. This time it wasn't M.S., it's the virus from hell + a bunch of other stuff like bronchitis, but it doesn't matter. I got suckered in. I started thinking I could do more.

*sigh*

One thing about being this sick is I've been keeping quite well informed about the news of the world, but haven't the energy to get excited about any of it, or the brainpower to sort it all out or make sense of it all. I have vague ideas in my head, and I know that I have read news articles and in the middle of them not known if (for instance) I was reading about the Indian government, or the U.S. or Israel. Just got completely lost in the fog.

What sticks out is the terrorist attacks in India (of course), pirates, the Wal-Mart employee killed by customers... I'm sure there was more. Someone wrote about the Mombai (sp?) attacks that they were targeting Americans, Britons, Israelis and Jews. -- They're attacking our way of life. Very well said.

Around here things continue, somehow. S2's rib is hopefully getting better. It turns out he has some really good drugs. Hallucinogenic and everything. I think there is something very wrong with our little Peppito (blind dog). He's got scabs or something on his belly, he won't let us look at them, and the other dogs are growling at him and keeping him away from family groupings. I don't see how we can get him to the vet - I hope it is not serious. Poor little guy has had such a hard life.

The goats got out today, TH was at shul, and S3 came home really hurting, having done the splits involuntarily at the playground. S1 is just about done in, exhaustion. He and D3 went out to round up the goats, and S2, fractured rib and all, went to hold the gate open for them. I sat here and felt guilty. Not a fun time. We did it, though, and once the kids had all gotten the animals settled I could do mom-stuff. So I'm not completely useless. ;-)

I had a visit today from an awful woman, who, after visiting with me for longer than the allowed fifteen minutes (and after saying that one mustn't overtire sick people when visiting), she proceeded to tell me how I am doing very much better - clearly on the mend. How would she know? This is the first time she's seen me since before I got sick. I am not noticeably on the mend - I am not any worse, I am also not in any way better. And the reason she got to visit was that I was at the high point of my day. As if I would have let her in while I was spewing up technicolour stuff, hacking and choking and generally being disgusting. I mean, really! And she argued with me! Argghhhhh!!

So, no more of that sort of visitor.

TH is considering not going in to work tomorrow. He will still have to work, thank goodness for telecommuting, without which we would never make it.

I've been listening to a lot of Trance music lately. I'm really getting to like it a lot. My next-door neighbour is really into Infected Mushroom, and I liked them, but now that i've branched out I'm finding that I like some other Trance music even better. More music! Makes me happy

I'm not making a lot of sense, and I am running out of steam. My back hurts from sleeping propped up night after night, or not sleeping at all. I can't lie down without choking, so basically I haven't lain down in two or three weeks. I suppose I must be doing better though, now that I think about it. Since I've figured out a way to prop myself up using my bed table, I am getting more sleep anyway. Well, last night was really awful, so I don't know. *sigh* I know this will end, eventually. I know that I've lived through worse (at least I've got another ten weeks to see if I break my record - sick for thirteen weeks straight the winter of 1993-94). My neighbours continue to be wonderful. My next-door neighbour's mother made me some soup full of local healing stuff. It tasted pretty good, too.

Ouch, can't do this any more. Must rest my arms and back. More another time I'm sure.

I'm listening to Svenson and Gielen: We Know What You Did... (DJ Ti�sto ReMix). That's Trance.

0 bleats so far

:: Yesterdays : Tomorrows ::

~~~Last Five Entries~~~
Hi and goodbye - 2010-10-15
I'll be moving on - 2010-10-10
Gold membership and stuff - 2010-10-10
Decisions, decisions - 2010-10-07
Days to go - 2010-10-06