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Honey is Sweet

Ugh. - 2008-12-06

I'm grateful for: hope for buying this house/shetach; learning to put less pressure on myself; really decent weather.

I don't know how much time I spent getting this one photo up here. I need something quicker than photobucket, or something. 'Cause I just don't have the time to spend a couple of hours on one photo. Anyway, among my new photos is this one of my new bear's face. BTW, I'm looking for a name for him, so suggestions are not unwelcome.

NewBearFace

It was kind of the day from hell. Actually it could have been SO much worse, but it was pretty bad. Still sick, of course. S! is still sick, and also heartsick over finding a puppy tied out to die. There are too many dogs, too many stray dogs, and many people here do not like dogs or see them as we do in places like the U.S. and England. Many people will, finding themselves with a dog they don't want, just dump them out in the desert. Others take them out to the country, thinking they can just leave them to live wild around places like our moshav. Anyway, S1 is heartsick. Even if he could save this one, he knows that there will be another one, and another, and another. What can we do?

This one at least we can give a bit of a chance, I hope. TH will hopefully take the puppy up north with him tomorrow and leave him someplace a stray puppy has a chance of surviving, or even of being adopted in the city. No animal shelters, or rather, there are one or two in the whole country, which are constantly and completely over-full. So this is the reverse of people dumping animals in the country. We're going to leave this puppy near the waste bins of a bunch of restaurants. *sigh* It's not an ideal answer, but it is the best we can do. Besides just leaving the puppy chained to the post to die.

S2's side/ribs are still hurting him. I'm worried, I want that there should be some sign of improvement already. A truly horrible woman came by to visit, and made some appalling suggestions to TH. Appalling in this instance means suggesting that they get together, privately, trying to get some one-on-one time with my husband. Saying that it could work if I don't queer the deal, evil nasty burden that I am. I wouldn't have known anything about it, but TH and i ended up having a long, and largely productive (I think) conversation about our relationship, and his abusive behaviour in the past, and his being insane, and such like that there.

I know my paragraph breaks are a mess. I can't cope with trying to make it right.

So in the course of this several-hours-long talk, at one point TH mentioned the horrible thing the woman said about me, then put it in context. Then he and I had an interesting realization - that this incredibly awful person is in reality just like his mother. Scary. I'd say she is actually worse than TH's mother, if only because my mil did feed the children, and didn't leave them alone to fend for themselves at the age or four or so.

Good conversation w/TH, yucky stuff with that woman, then I joined RS, FB and friend LL on a conference call which was nice. I think we all enjoyed it. But that phonecall, which was about an hour and a half, was followed by another hour and a half on the phone with MMF. Who can be in her own way as awful as the woman visitor was earlier in the day. She wasn't as bad as that tonight, but it was extremely wearing. In the middle of this delightful conversation D3 had a melt-down, TH and S2 got snippy at each other, and, well, we all survived. I also survived another half hour on the phone with RS, who phoned to talk to me again.

I don't ever want to talk to anyone on the phone again. I'm sick, and tired, and miserable, and starting to creep into that place where I start feeling self-hatred. I'm going there because I am tired, and sore, and sick, and scared about tomorrow when TH goes off to work for the day.

So I guess it's pretty amazing I'm not in a worse mental/emotional place. Doing rather well all things considered. But, oh, I really could use some sleep tonight. And to not be quite so sick tomorrow. Please, Hashem.

I'm listening to Uncle Bonsai: Johnny It's Downhill From Here.

0 bleats so far

:: Yesterdays : Tomorrows ::

~~~Last Five Entries~~~
Hi and goodbye - 2010-10-15
I'll be moving on - 2010-10-10
Gold membership and stuff - 2010-10-10
Decisions, decisions - 2010-10-07
Days to go - 2010-10-06