I'm grateful for: a much better bedroom for S3; a good new recipe for supper; very loving doggers.

I don't know where to start. I want to start with one thing, but can't seem to find a starting point. Chronologically, today started when I got out of bed filled with a compulsion to re-do my youngest son's room.

Truly a disaster, it not only had all of his stuff piled and strewn about in incredible chaos, but also most of the arts & craft supplies, emergency lightbulbs, assorted household 'stuff' (like those round felt pads to put on the bottom of furniture legs to protect the floors/rugs). Also the cats were being fed in his room, and trust me, nobody was bothering to clean it up when the food spilled or got somehow sprayed on the walls. Do I want to know? No, I don't.

So between little things like breakfast, and getting dressed (just AFTER the next-door neighbour stopped by and found me in a nightshirt and slippers), we emptied shelves and shelves and shelves of stuff. We (we is me, S1, S2, S3 and D3) removed two sets of shelves, sorted through mountains of stuff, got S3's clothing sorted and put on the remaining set of shelves, along with two shelves of books, two of toys and one of an assortment of binders, puzzles, and who-knows-what. Then we picked things up from the floor, and picked more things up, and more. We sorted through more toys and junk while eating something resembling lunch - come to think of it, I don't think I ate, not that I care very much - and figured out where things should go for maximum storage and also maximum accessability.

S3's room was finished, mostly (I still want to go through all of those bins, *sigh*), by 4pm. -ish. The S2 and I went to work on the family room. Where did all those art and craft supplies, one of the sets of shelves, and other assorted 'stuff' end up? Well a bunch of it ended up in the family room. So we went through all of that stuff, managed to get most of it on shelves or in the piece of furniture - I really have no idea what to call it) that the television sort of hangs over.

TH came home after S2 and I had finished in the family room, and had started on my room. My room is where the cats will now be fed, and where many of the books from S3's room ended up, and also I had some stuff of mine on the floor and bed from clearing a place for the cat food, and coming up with drawers to hold S3's clothes.

I had, in the course of going through books, come up with a recipe for a quick and easy supper that TH could make that would be new to all of us, thus provoking no knee-jerk refusals. TH got started on the supper after putting up S3's mezuzah cover, the mezuzah had been wrapped in just a plastic bag for way too long. S3 painted his mezuzah cover today, and if I'd had any sense I would have taken a photo. Oh, well.

Apparently before I woke up, there had been a 'tzeva adom' (colour red, incoming missile) warning. I slept through it, and the boys didn't wake up D3 either, but they did have the 'drill' I'd talked about, and made it under the house in good time apparently. I said, next time, wake up D3, as a drill has to take into account that the one time a rocket actually does fall on us, it may well be when some or all of us are asleep. Otherwise, good job for them.

And none too soon, as today has been punctuated with more booms than since we moved here. There was a really big one around noon, and another around 4pm. 'Really big' usually means very close, although in better times (when the IDF is actually defending us) sometimes it indicates they found an ammo dump. There was another tzeva adom after TH got home, but before he got our new beeper installed.

This beeper. I love it. The thing I didn't really know how to start talking about. The head of the va'ad (committee, like a town counsel) came by with a beeper in a box. We plug it in, put it on the wall, and it is supposed to alert us to when a missile of some kind is coming, because the tzeva adom speakers don't work right. Right? We don't have a safe room, and have no way to build one. We haven't a bomb shelter in range, the safest place we can go is to crawl under the house (at it's highest the space is about four feet high), and hope nothing lands right next to the house. But we have a state-of-the-art beeper on the wall. It is to laugh.

15 seconds. We have fifteen seconds. IF the alert sounds. But we wouldn't want to rush into some kind of military action, oh, no. Three years isn't time enough, clearly, to have planned to do something. Oh, just don't get me started. The security counsel met today, and they decided to take the actions they apparently have already decided to take. That is what the news reported. Also that Olmert, the ever concerned for our welfare, ordered a news black-out on any of the details. This is supposed to be reassuring to WHOM?

Oh, and another funny one - Hamas announced that the last cease-fire (I think it lasted about three hours), would continue until the humanitarian aid had finished being transferred into Gaza, then they would resume shelling us again. Way to motivate us to let the trucks through! Oh, yes, I want to hurry to give these people everything they want so that they can go back to trying to kill us. *sigh* There is something seriously wrong with people, the way they think. If it was only the people living in Gaza, or only the arab 'Palestinians,' or even only the bad guys it would be bearable. But I swear practically everyone on this planet seems to have gone off their nut in some way. But, don't get me started. *sigh*

The last tzeva adom here went after S3 had gone to bed. There were two loud bangs, one which was probably the one the warning was for, and another one with no warning. No one on the moshav seems to have gone to see where it landed, but since it's cold and after dark, and missed any of the houses, whatever it is can surely wait.

A house was destroyed not far from here today. And bombs fell in Netivot for the first time, in the industrial area. They said they did get the crew that launched those rockets, but it's not like there aren't plenty more where they came from.

ARgh! I don't even want to go on about it, but there were two booms while I was writing this, so it's not as if I can take my mind off of it. I have a great deal of faith. I believe that Hashem WILL take care of us - regardless of what our gub'ment does or doesn't do. I believe that we WILL be okay. And then I start thinking about the kids, and what could happen, and what it's like for S3 sleeping there by himself, scared, listening to the booms (he is sleeping through them now, and while he was awake I was with him as much as I could possibly be).

I'd have invited him to sleep with me, but there is simply no room on my bed. I cleared enough junk of for me to sleep in it, and I have to some how find room for myself because one of the dogs has taken up the centre. She sleeps with me about half the time, it's okay. But crowded.

And, anyway, my faith doesn't mean I'm not scared. I am scared for my children. I know it wouldn't fix the problem, but I'd just feel so much more relaxed if we could make a safe room, or even just have some part of the house reinforced. Our roof is ceramic tile you can see daylight through. The house is falling apart, so being under it isn't as reassuring as you might hope. They say there have been over 60 rockets fired today, but they've continued to say that as the booms have continued to go off, so I rather suspect the number is rather higher.

The ironic thing - okay, ONE of the ironic things here, is that these people, in firing off their rockets, have managed to kill more of their own people than they have Israelis. I'm not talking about rocket crews being taken out by our soldiers, I'm talking about rockets that land short, on their side of the fence. And rockets that blow up on launching, and so on. That doesn't seem to bother them in the least. I'm sorry for the children killed, on either side of the fence. That's as far as my heart can take me, while I'm sitting here listening to my son's sleep-breathing and the booms.

Tomorrow I have a dentist appointment, and as of now I have no valium to take before it. That's not a very relaxing thought, either. Two dentist appointments tomorrow, for cavities for both S1 and me. And then a week's worth of grocery shopping to do. And then? Oh, not to forget the water bill and hopefully picking up some more cough syrup for D3.

One really good thing today? The winds picked up something fierce, and blew all the nasty stuff away, and the air was clean and clear (and cold!), and we opened the windows and aired out as much of the house as we could. So that was good.

S3 has started a new thing. After hearing a bedtime story, he reads a short book to TH - usually whatever book he managed to read to me during the day as part of our schoolwork. It is so cute! TH is not a good listener, he doesn't seem at all pleased or delighted, but rather waiting for it to be over. What can you do? He just doesn't get what he is missing, in racing through is life eager to get away from all of us (me and the kids).

I guess that's it. I got a bath, and my hair washed, which is very nice. Nails trimmed, which they were needing. And S2 and I managed to read a couple of little Hebrew books together. Progress. I guess. *sigh* I'm not feeling terribly positive about my progress in Hebrew, but at least I am making progress. Right?

I'm listening to Kenna: Vexed and Glorious / A Better Control

:: Yesterdays : Tomorrows ::

~~~Last Five Entries~~~
Hi and goodbye - 2010-10-15
I'll be moving on - 2010-10-10
Gold membership and stuff - 2010-10-10
Decisions, decisions - 2010-10-07
Days to go - 2010-10-06