I'm grateful for: getting some movies burned to disk and clearing up space on my hard drive; chocolate covered rice cakes, Yum; RS has made a decision. Yeaaa!

That really was more dramatic than necessary. I got interrupted by too many things, and noticed after a while that the window was still just sitting there open. Phone conversations with D1, D2, RS and FB. D1 is just more the same again. D2 is sick, miserable, and driving herself into misery fretting about not being able to work while sick - "I won't be able to buy food next month" - as if we would leave her with nothing at all to eat, if it really was that bad. Which it's not.

The problem is that she had some idea of how things were 'supposed' to go. And getting sick wasn't in the program. So she's having a really hard time switching gears, and allowing that things could be okay even if they don't go just as she imagined/wanted. I tried to be sympathetic rather than to lecture or give advice. I was helped by other phone calls that kept me from saying things as I kept being interrupted by from that, too.

RS has made the decision to make aliyah - to move to Israel - and now is fretting herself to flinders. She's freaking out about money, and planning plans, and pretty much making it all into a much bigger, scarier deal than it already is. Mind you, I am very clear on how big and scary a deal it is. I may have moved here 4.5 years ago, but i haven't forgotten.

Good heavens! Has it really been that long? The years really are racing by. I'm not that old, yet. Okay, when Mozart was my age he'd been dead for more than two years (a distant Tom Lehrer reference anyone?) - but back then people didn't live as long. Or something like that.

Anyway, about the bomb, it went off, it was quite exciting and scary for a few minutes, and then life continued. We don't see as many of the things actually hitting here than other kibbutzim/moshavim and cities down here, but it's not entirely unheard of - at least when it doesn't hurt anyone. Now if someone here got hurt, that WOULD be something new. And pretty much everyone except the Americans here are related, the whole moshav would turn out, no question.

Conversation with FB was desultory at best. We talked a bit about living in J'lem, and about alternative places he could check out, people he could talk to. But - I don't know if the problem is him or me. He sounds so depressed, and at the same time knows there are things he could be doing to improve his situation and he isn't going them. He knows he isn't doing them. And I don't know if my part is to offer to help, or if it is better to wait until it hurts bad enough for him to actually take steps to make changes. So, for the moment, I am doing nothing. Offering ideas, suggestions and support, but otherwise just staying the hell out of it.

The booms from Gaza are still louder and stronger. I wonder how long it can go on getting louder and all. It makes falling asleep a bit difficult, at least for me. Doesn't seem to affect TH, but then, what does?

All the dogs are sleeping with him tonight, so theoretically I could have a more comfortable night at least.

I am really tired, and want to sleep. I *should* answer an email I got today, but I think I'm going to aim for sleep earlier than usual lately instead. It's only just after 2am. Almost normal hours. Almost.

I am feeling sad and sorry for myself. It's the pain, nothing to worry about. Just really no fun. I want comfort and teddy bears and chocolate. And my hair washed.

I'm listening to Steeleye Span: Royal Forester

:: Yesterdays : Tomorrows ::

~~~Last Five Entries~~~
Hi and goodbye - 2010-10-15
I'll be moving on - 2010-10-10
Gold membership and stuff - 2010-10-10
Decisions, decisions - 2010-10-07
Days to go - 2010-10-06