Dang! I am freezing. It can't be our mere zero C temps, so it must be hearing about -26F in Aurora and Wyndspirit talking about 40 below. Cold.

I was cold all day, though, which is a sign that it is not about the temperature at all. Just the way my body reacts sometimes, usually to pain but on rare occasions stress can make me feel cold all the time. It can be 90F even and I feel cold when it's one of those causes. Ah, well. Tonight I am hoping for better sleep and tomorrow is a new day - one in which I don't have to go anywhere unless I want to.

I have a goal, which is to make some corn chowder. I'm really looking forward to it, I've wanted to do this since sometime in the last two years I made some and I loved it, and D2 didn't, and that put the kibosh on any clam chowder since when D2 is here we cook for her. She has a very strong personality that seems to come out most on the issue of food.

Anyway, I got the ingredients (not so complicated, that) and tomorrow I am going to make it with D3, Hashem willing. D3 is getting the best of me in that I am being able to cook with her, and sew with her a bit, and generally pass on some of the skills and knowledge that I never had the time/strength/mental space to pass on to D2, with all the younger ones needing my attention and energy more...

Good reasons to be the youngest girl, or just the youngest, I guess. Not that D2 didn't also get things the others didn't. Just how it works out.

I am feeling truly awful. I managed to get out and go grocery shopping, spent WAY too much money. We also have plans to spend even more money on food, making a bulk food order, but it really should be worth it in the long run. That's what I keep telling myself, anyway. ;-)

I talked with RS for a LONG time on the telephone. It was a good conversation, and we talked about her moving here, did I think we would be okay living so close together (I do), and what it's like and stuff like that there. I didn't eat right or enough today and I'm feeling that now. At 3am. Why couldn't I feel it earlier when I could theoretically have eaten more? Earlier I couldn't eat because I was in pain and feeling kind of sick-to-my-stomach at the thought of food.

There was a tzeva adom today, which went just as I was sitting on the toilet for the long haul. Not much I could do. Just sat there and fretted a bit. Lousy place to get hit by a rocket, if I'm going to be. Obviously all is well or I wouldn't have spent all this time talking about all that other stuff here. Big booms and people injured though. Just not here.

If you do prayers, there's a 7yo boy fighting for his life in Soroka hospital with shrapnel in his head who can use all the help he can get. Some others, too, but that is the only one I have good information about. Big booms in Gaza that sound like thunder make me jump. It's been so long without rain, that hearing thunder makes me feel hopeful for a second until I recognize it for what it is.

A friend of ours was injured today, too. Nothing serious, but a reminder that it really is so close.

My roses seem to have survived the frost, at least form last night. The dogs frolicked with the string I put up to keep people from stepping on them, or rather, through them. I guess the next thing is to give up and pray for the roses, too. ;-) I need to pick up some row covers for some leafy greens (celery, lettuce, and so on) we were given and need to plant in the ground. They are in pots now, and I can't put them in the ground without covers unless I intend to just feed the local wildlife. Not that that would be a bad thing, but ... ;-)

That's all for tonight. I'm sick and tired and sick of being tired and all of that. D2 told my new health-care person, who is also the principal of her school, that I'd said I couldn't take another disappointment. He seems to have taken that seriously. Hmmmm. I guess I'll know more when I see him next Friday. I do hope he can make a difference. I don't really like this whole useless cripple thing, even with the parking card and being waited on hand and foot. This is news to some people (not anyone here I trust), but it just is not worth it.

Anyway, good night. I've moved on from Patti Page and am now listening to Pearl Bailey. I really love me some Pearl Bailey.

I'm listening to Pearl Bailey: The Physician

:: Yesterdays : Tomorrows ::

~~~Last Five Entries~~~
Hi and goodbye - 2010-10-15
I'll be moving on - 2010-10-10
Gold membership and stuff - 2010-10-10
Decisions, decisions - 2010-10-07
Days to go - 2010-10-06