I'm grateful for: the washing machine that keeps limping along; eating kitniyot during Pesach; a quiet night with (Hashem willing) no animals in my room.

I can't even believe how I get through each day and each night. And then I stay up later than I should because I want to keep up with diaries and email friends and the occasional comic strip. And the news.

My brain can only take in so much, and I have about seven people constantly, almost continuously, talking to me, telling me things, wanting my opinion, my attention, my approval, my help. It's a small house and the walls (concrete) echo and my brain soon fills up and I just can't take in any more, and still they call me 'Ima!' and "Mel!" and 'Love!' and I should immediately be available and give each one my undivided attention...

Well, it doesn't work like that, not really. As demanding as it is, and as hard as it is, my kids are wonderful, helping to sort out significant others is something I do not grudge, I wouldn't want to *not* be there for my friends and family. I am not wonder woman, I don't mean to pretend that I am. I fall down on the job regularly. I don't give enough attention to the 9yo, I leave the 14yo and 20yo to take care of the household. I am not firm enough with the dogs, I don't take good enough care of myself, physically, and I really should put that at a higher priority in life. Seriously.

The computer problems are accelerating with the only desktop computer, a rather old original - meaning one of the very first - imac, no longer successfully surfing the web. My lap top with the dodgy keyboard is having other problems as well. I went shopping to get one of those tiny computers to hopefully help to stave off computer disaster, but didn't buy one. Yet. Hopefully Hashem will decide the time is right soon, because I really don't know how long we can last.

In other technological fun the last cd player in the house died. TH and I were out last night shopping for one, and went to five different stores. They simply don't make a basic cd player anymore. At least not for sale in Israel. This is not optional, as S3 listens to audio books (remember I don't spend enough time with him?) at bedtime and when he gets up in the morning before everyone else in the house. We finally found one we were willing to buy - for about twice what a cd player should cost be it never so terrific - and of course they were completely out of them except for the display which they would not sell to us. *sigh*

We found one today and paid way, way too much for it, which, added to the more than $500 they want for a tiny little computer, totally breaks the budget. But what can we do - we no longer live in a society in which you can function without internet access.

S2 HAS to be able to get to the IDF website to find out when and if he is supposed to show up for this or that thing, to fill out paperwork and to be aware when they change the dates on him again. S1 is theoretically going to be in the same boat soon. While we certainly can continue to homeschool S3 and D3 without internet access, it would be a major loss, and really not a good idea as we are no longer in a position where we can count on a friendly librarian or an extensive homeschoolers network to fill in any gaps.

The washing machine is dying as well, but it seems to be taking it's blessed time about it, so I'm willing to live with it failing to drain now and again as long as it keeps washing clothes for a while - at least until we get through this technology plague.

At least everyone's cell phones are working, and S2 has all his gear. Two more days until the household is returned completely to normal from Pesach - Hashem willing - and then work MUST begin on our homeschooling application and plans for next year. Along with taking care of S2's dental needs, D3's braces, S1's army appointment and - lessee, is there anything else we can add to this nightmare-I-mean-very-full-life in the month of April?

S2 goes in the army on May 5th, which will be the end of the busy season as far as I can see - barring all sorts of unforeseen circumstances, which I am simply not going to worry about. I have enough on my plate.

Our neighbour David has been in hospital now for over ten days. He's in surgical i.c.u., and two days ago he seemed to be improving, but now has taken a turn for the worse and it is touch-and-go according to his wife. His loss will leave a huge hole in everyone's life here. I'm going to write it here - I really don't think he's going to make it - and hope, really, really hope, that I am proven wrong. C'mon, where is that cosmic irony. All prayers, positive thoughts, and well wishes are appreciated.

Also my grandchildren's father's new daughter (with the new wife) is back in the hospital. She was premature and is now two months old. I have no idea what is wrong with her. Obviously I hope that she will be okay, but I haven't the strength to get too involved. I include her in my prayers, but it's an emotionally distant thing. I'm maintaining my emotional distance from D1 as well. I've too much going on here, my life is here, she chooses to be there. Not blaming, it's just the way it is.

I had meant to start out by writing how very sick I am, after all of that is seems rather anti-climactic. I am very, very sick with a miserable cold passed on to me by D3 who got it from D2 who got it from her boyfriend. The boyfriend was here Sunday and Monday and let TH know that he is truly sick of people telling him it's time he was getting married. What could we possibly say to that - WE haven't been nudging him. Except psychicly, if that were possible... ;-)

S1's prospective girlfriend-slash-wife came down Sunday as well. I spent the day locked up with her mother in order to allow the kids to interact somewhat freely. There was also a 12yo boy who played with S3, and a younger sister (younger than prospective girlfriend) who chatted with D3, and an 8yo (I think) little girl who was pretty well left alone except when the older kids included her somewhat. The mom kept insisting that the boys (S3 and her 12yo) should include her. I think it would have been more to the point to ask D3 and the sister to take her in hand. Regardless, the visit managed to go well enough.

I can't fathom the mom, who comes on like an over-protective harpy for two or three weeks and then when she brings the kids to my house she completely ignores them. We played cribbage and boggle, and I whupped her at both games. She says she is rusty at cribbage so I give her the benefit of the doubt - we'll see... Now I have to bring some of my kids up to visit at her place. *sigh* What I go through so that S1 can pursue a relationship. He really is smitten with the girl, though. I dunno what to hope for. An opposite mother who is a little bit sane in order to be able to discuss things plainly? I suppose it'd be nice.

I am also severely behind on my sleep again, and I somehow managed to damage my left thumb while cracking walnuts of all things. My left thumb and I am left-handed, which leaves me even less functional than usual, and somewhat of the walking wounded. The cold is a hugely contributing factor, as I just can't cope with a little thing like almost crushing my thumb. I am afraid I won't be able to sleep because of the cold symptoms, but I'll worry about that once it is after midnight. *grin*

S2 and I finished our Hebrew course that we were doing together. He is unquestionably better - he's functional in Hebrew, even if only at a very basic level. I am hoping this will give him a leg up when they stick him in the army ulpan. Please, Hashem.

We are about half-way into The Cat in the Hat in Hebrew, which is great fun. It's not the same sort of easy reader that it is in English, but "Zeh lo hakol, oy lo, zeh lo hakol' - That is not all, oh no, that is not all - is just as fun to repeat at the bottom of a page.

I'm sure there is more, more, more, but the arms are tired and I really need to try and get some rest. A truly miserable cold. We are in the middle of a sharav - the hot desert wind - and it was 40C today in Netivot. Hot enough to melt us all, I'd say. It's supposed to cool off tomorrow, but right now although the wind is cooler, it is really strong, maybe 50mph, and so full of sand and dust and grit it's not safe to be outside if you can help it.

I think I wrote about having six more chicks. Kitten is doing well, cuter than the moment before, and sleeping with D3 tonight after I had her the last three nights. It is warm enough we no longer need to keep her snuggled up in bed, but she and we are used to it.

I can't think of anything else quickly. I've got my fan running - it's the beginning of six months during which the fan doesn't get shut off. Ugh. Summer. Be well, all, and Gd bless. I hope wherever you are the temps are comfortable and you are not miserably sick.

I'm listening to the whirr of the fan. *sigh*

:: Yesterdays : Tomorrows ::

~~~Last Five Entries~~~
Hi and goodbye - 2010-10-15
I'll be moving on - 2010-10-10
Gold membership and stuff - 2010-10-10
Decisions, decisions - 2010-10-07
Days to go - 2010-10-06