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Honey is Sweet

The end of the horrible, very bad, wondeful trip - 2009-07-30

I'm grateful for: a wonderful end to the horrible trip; getting to play grandma-bountiful; being home again in a place I am happy to call home.

Hopefully the last instalment on the trip-of-death. Saving the best for last, and perhaps jumping ahead a bit if I didn't tell the whole saga of *getting* to D1's place... We arrived. Somehow. I managed to grab my bags, and drag myself to the building. Up about five or six steps to the front door, then confronted with LONG set of steep steps. Not entirely sure how I managed it. I think I dropped my bags in the first floor apartment (no more steps, but no one was down there, either). In case I didn't mention, D1 and the father of her kids, and his new wife all live in a two-flat, D1 is downstairs and father & new wife are upstairs. Upstairs is where the kids spend most of their time and is the centre of family life.

As I said, I made it up the stairs, somehow. Collapsed on a loveseat. They have two loveseats and no full size sofas. Also a small table and chairs for the kids, which is just too cute, but that's not to the point.

I don't remember when or how RS made it up the stairs, and it wasn't that important to me. We arrived too late to see the children, being already in bed, but we visiting for a good long time with Mike (the new man in D1's life), F(ather) and N(ew)W(ife). F actually went and hid in his bedroom with the computer and was there for almost all of our visit. I don't think it was much of a loss. NW made a really BAD joke about her supplanting D1 as my daughter. Not even going there - as I told her quite seriously. That was the end of that. NW has a lot that I don't like about her, but in terms of simple day-to-day living we got along quite well.

It helps that we have similar temperaments, both of us prefer neatness and order and have a hard time surrendering them, even to small children. We're both basically 'mommy' oriented - all about the kids - and expect other people around us to behave the as if they were the same. And don't understand it and get testy when other important people (like husbands) don't act as if making it possible for us to give the children the best possible care isn't their absolutely first priority in life.

We don't agree in what is the best possible care for children - she keeps them in disposable diapers 24/7 until they are reliably toilet trained (thank goodness for pull-ups - I wonder how she would have coped in an earlier age?), and things fancy boxes of sugar-water (what she called it, and it's not like boxed juices) is the best of all possible treats for the little ones. If I were around more or for a longer visit, this might become a source of tension, but for the very short visit we just had it didn't really affect us.

In a way it helped that NW was scheduled to go in for an surgical procedure, in fact the exact same one I had a little over a year and a half ago to stop my endless bleeding. So I could share my experience with her, and give her comfort and reassurance which she really couldn't get from anyone else. AND it meant that I was in the house helping out with the kids while she was in hospital, and later on at home resting - not so much rubbing against each other that way.

There just isn't much to say about the visit except that it was FABULOUS. I got to see and spend time with and get to know my grandchildren. I also got to hold and cuddle the new baby - NW and F's new baby, who is as adorable as only new babies can be. She's five months old but was over seven weeks premature, so she's just a tiny little thing.

I spent the first night going over photographs with Mike, spent some few moments with D1 alone, and with the kids, and shopping, and with Mike. Nice. I'm not saying it was frictionless, but it was real. Which is better.

RS stayed upstairs and didn't come down until she left on Wednesday. I stayed until Thursday, so I got a few hours free from her various insanities. I took F and NW and both grandkids and the new baby shopping and out to McDonald's. I had a great time, and got to play the grandmother-bountiful for a bit. Not as much as I would have liked, perhaps, but no one complained. It was nice to be able to help out to the tune of a couple of full tanks of gas, and groceries, and clothing, and some housewares and stuff. Knowing I made a positive difference in little ways that matter.

One of the things I did (this is SO me, you've just gotta believe me) is to buy them the very best toilet bowl plunger in the world. Silly, but since they exist (and are available and H0me Dep0t for a very reasonable sum) and they needed a new plunger, I couldn't resist. I bought one for each apartment. They didn't ask, I insisted. I also bought a new toilet seat - RS had broken the one they had, and of course it had never even occurred to her to offer to help out with it. RS has her positive points, but this is not one of them.

NW was so thrilled with the new toiled seat (I got one of those extra-easy-to-clean jobs), she actually squealled! :-)

I also bought for D1, various things, nothing very big or important, but the sort of things that really add to quality of life without necessarily calling attention to themselves.

I spent the better part of two whole days with the grandchildren, and was truly heartbroken to leave them. D1, also. I would have so loved to be able to stay for a longer visit. Also, to be able to get a hotel room for one or two nights, not just for my comfort (I couldn't use the bathrooms, couldn't shower or bathe, it was pretty rough), but to give them all some space as well. With no guestrooms, RS slept in the living room upstairs and I slept in the living room downstairs after the first night.

I wish I could say more, but what I mean to do is put one or two of the videos I took up on youtube, hopefully soon. It's 5am, I am exhausted. My room has finally cooled down enough I think I can fall asleep. I am just totally ready for the other side of summer here.

The trip home was largely uneventful. I had a horrible row-mate. We had a row of four seats, two empty in the middle and two of us in aisle seats, and the woman on the other side somehow managed to spread herself all over all the empty seats. *sigh* Besides that, nothing much. I was right next to the bathrooms, and there was a handicapped stall so I was pretty well set.

I watched The Devil Wears Prada, and I Love You, Man, while I couldn't sleep on the flight. I really loved the first movie, because I love Mery1 so much as an actress. And there it was...

I got to Ben Gurion before 8am on Friday. TH was right there, and I got out in record time, despite the fact that there was only one pusher for two wheelchairs, and then only one cart (seats two passengers) for three cripples. The pusher asked me if I had anything to declare, and I couldn't even think - I said I was pretty sure I hadn't, and that was customs. I shoulda been smuggling, is all I can say. :-)

It was just SO good to be back home, even if I don't quite feel it yet. Wonderful. It was such a wonderful end to the trip that I have a hard time sometimes feeling how awfully terrible the first couple of parts were. That's all to the good, though.

I'm done for now.

I'm listening to the fan - no music on tisha b'av. If anyone out there is fasting, I wish you an easy fast.

0 bleats so far

:: Yesterdays : Tomorrows ::

~~~Last Five Entries~~~
Hi and goodbye - 2010-10-15
I'll be moving on - 2010-10-10
Gold membership and stuff - 2010-10-10
Decisions, decisions - 2010-10-07
Days to go - 2010-10-06