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Honey is Sweet

Recovery is a process, looking forward to 30 years of getting better - 2009-09-25

I'm grateful for: money to go grocery shopping with; Kitten sleeping on my feet; continuing to get better.

I am at a loss. Do I write that often? Or too often? Sometimes I feel like all I do is write the same things over and over and over again.

I don't know what to write. It was a hard day. My legs weren't/aren't working right again. Muscle spasms that make lying down impossible for any length of time, but also make it somewhat dicey to be relying on them to stand and walk.

It was one of those days in which everything you do or try to do takes longer and longer, and things keep stretching out later and later and, ... I had wanted to make a phone call today. To a friend in the U.S. With the time difference I couldn't phone her when I woke up, or soon afterward. By early evening I was already several hours behind in things I really *had* to do. I don't think I managed to get dressed before 5pm. Not laziness, but I needied help, and so many other things needed doing, and people came by and things came up, and, ...

So, grocery shopping was an absolute today. It's Thursday. Tomorrow both S2 and D2 are arriving for the weekend. S2 has to be met and taken immediately to order new glasses. The house has to be cleaned and food prepared, all before sundown which is creeping earlier and earlier each week. There was no choice. I can't drive the car, and I can't really walk, so TH had to come, and he has to work, and, well, so we were getting ready to leave the house at 8:30pm, when a neighbour came by needing an emergency baby-sitter. The father of the kids she was watching wasn't home, and she had things to do, so instead of heading right out shopping first we got S1 installed at the neighbours house.

D3 went grocery shopping with us, not only did we need her shopping, but she said she really wasn't up for babysitting. That left S3 home alone, which we don't do lightly, so what with preparations for that we weren't out of the house until a bit after 9. Nine p.m. Late, for shopping, at least around here.

It's a drive to Be'er Sheva - not a terrible one, but still, more than half an hour at best. Two supermarkets to shop at, both because we are trying to get the best prices, but also because there are things at each store that we can't get at the other. The cheaper store doesn't carry cat food, for instance, and for some incalculable reason charges quite a bit more for cottage cheese. The second, more 'upscale' store carries a larger variety of products and has the best in-store bakery outside of Mega - a store which is so expensive we rarely go there.

Even with a fairly good organization we couldn't very well get in and out quickly. Everyone else is shopping Thursday night, and because we left so late the crowds were somewhat less, but the people in front of us in the lines tended to be the less organized shoppers. When I am stuck in line behind them I call them 'problem' customers. Our lane had a problem customer who took maybe twenty minutes to resolve a question to her satisfaction... while the line just stood there, we were third back. If any of the other lanes had been moving any more quickly it would have been even more frustrating.

Anyway, what with one thing and another (and another), we didn't get home until just after midnight. The clock in the car read 00:02 when we pulled in. S1 met us at the car, and he was fuming. Why? Because the friend I'd been intending to phone had just called and chewed on HIS ear about how she couldn't sit around keeping her phone line clear for me all the day long. Did I ask her to? You don't know so I'll tell you, I didn't.

I'm tired and cranky and really *don't* want to be starting a phone call after midnight, no matter how much I may want to talk to a person, and now I've got a stork-stiff son grumbling and slamming things - does he think it's my fault? I don't think so, but still. So I phoned her, and got dumped right into her voicemail, a good sign she's online. I left a somewhat snippy message about how I'd just got home and if she thought I *wanted* to have waited to call her 'til then... and that I would be up if she wanted to call back for a little while.

Forty five minutes later I phoned her back, and left a better-toned message, the truth is I am bummed. I was looking forward to that conversation. I don't know if we can connect tomorrow at all, or Saturday, Sunday by the time it's late enough to phone her will be Yom Kippur... you see? And a long and frustrating day didn't end well with an angry son and two answering machine messages.

I'm feeling sad and hurt and a bit put-upon. I'll get over it. I'm tired and wish I could sleep, but sleep has just been almost impossible lately. *sigh*

I did get a very nice letter from my friend CC. It's funny, she was CC before she was married, and she is now with a last name that is just close enough to be a bit confusing. I'm trying to figure out what to write, what I can write to her. Maybe I should just give it up - today was just a bad day - and let it go. I have a new (to me) Doonesbury book to read which, as long as I can't sleep, is a decent enough pass-time.

Why do I feel like I did something wrong? *sigh*

I'm listening to The Cranberries: Promises

0 bleats so far

:: Yesterdays : Tomorrows ::

~~~Last Five Entries~~~
Hi and goodbye - 2010-10-15
I'll be moving on - 2010-10-10
Gold membership and stuff - 2010-10-10
Decisions, decisions - 2010-10-07
Days to go - 2010-10-06