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Honey is Sweet

*sigh* - 2009-12-18

I'm grateful for: I dunno what. The new television - we couldn't afford it but we've got it anyway. RS arriving in less than two weeks, bedroom or no bedroom. A loving family even when I least want them around.

I'm really, genuinely depressed right now. Generally I don't DO depressed. Too much else going on. Today, though, I just don't wanta do anything. I don't want to get up, I can't muster the mental energy to pick out a couple of photos of flowers. I just want the world to go away and leave me alone.

I don't even want to write about it here, or anywhere, but if I have a friend to talk to write now it's d'land, and if I don't write about it, I'll probably just - oh, I don't know, it's not like I could curl up and pull the bedclothes over my head. The kids popping in and out with questions and things they want to share with me and all. I wish they would just stop.

You know what? I'm tired of myself. I'm tired of my complaining. I'm tired of being stuck in this stupid room day after day after day. I'm tired of hurting. I'm tired of talking about it. I'm tired of having grody flashbacks every time I relax and/or close my eyes. I'm just plain tired, and nothing seems to be getting any better and

I can't even stand to listen to myself in my head.

Yesterday I actually thought I was doing a bit better.

I need more personal space. Makes me wonder why I had six children in the first place. *wry grimace*

Somebody f**king shoot me before I write any more of this crap.

*sigh*

I'm listening to echoes of 'Radar Love.' Thanks Anna!

1 bleats so far

:: Yesterdays : Tomorrows ::

~~~Last Five Entries~~~
Hi and goodbye - 2010-10-15
I'll be moving on - 2010-10-10
Gold membership and stuff - 2010-10-10
Decisions, decisions - 2010-10-07
Days to go - 2010-10-06