I'm grateful for: marriage improvements; life, the universe and everything; chocolate truffles.

I have emails to write and things to do - miles to go before I sleep. Only, it's almost 4am. I do have to sleep sometime.

Bad night so far, but the day wasn't too bad. I didn't accomplish anything besides sleeping through noon, but I did read to S3, fielded phone calls from S2 and RS. I can't remember if D2 phoned or not. Friend MS phoned twice, and we ended up talking in a friendly fashion for a while. We are on two entirely different planes right now. She is happy, tired, and utterly involved with the new baby. I am freaking out and stretched to the limit with S2's problems, RS coming, money stuff, grody flashback, lack of sleep. I'm not happy with myself right now. I *really, really* hope that once RS is here things will get a little less frantic, but I doubt that is true. Far more likely is that she will add another layer of stuff to do and crap to deal with. It makes conversing with friend MS rather difficult, to say the least.

Tomorrow I am supposed to go meet with the Hebrew teacher in Netivot. I can't imagine what I was thinking to set that up. TH is almost finished moving the washer and dryer out on the mirpesset (deck), which is a huge step for house improvement.

I have no idea how long after that it will be that I/we have a shower, but I can't wait. I really can't shower in the current set-up, standing up in a tub that is too narrow for me to set my feet or maintain balance. The thought of being able to take a shower any time I can manage to get into the bathroom is kind of heavenly. Which means it is going to take rather a long time - the things I anticipate so much always do.

I would like to write something upbeat here, but I'm just banging on empties right now. There are good things - an old friend reappearing in my life - actually ANOTHER old friend reappearing in my life. Where are they all coming from? -- progress on the house, on my room. S2 is doing better, a bit. I'm doing better at not answering the phone, not talking when I am completely fried, getting off even when the person on the phone (usually one of the offspring) is sounding needy or depressed if I need to.

TH and I are enjoying 'marital relations' at a greater frequency than we have in .. perhaps all of our married life? Now THAT is depressing. Except that, since it is something I've wanted, it's good. The marital relations are -- challenging. A lot of it is us figuring out just what we can do, how we can make it work with me so disabled and also so obese. Call it heavy. 'Cause I don't look obese, and I imagine not so long ago I wouldn't have been labelled that way. Whatever. We have a book (no, seriously, I know, isn't it awful?) on how to do it with a crip, 'cause it just isn't entirely self-evident sometimes. What angles work and how to get support when neither of us can hold up parts that need holding up. Hmmm. That's either tmi or ridiculously circuitous or both. I give up.

So, relations with TH are better. I think I'm doing pretty good with the kids, although Hebrew studying has entirely fallen by the wayside the last week or so. Something I AM hoping will be remedied by RS's being here already. And, well, stuff like that.

I think I'm mostly just cranky from the blasted grody flashback that seems to go on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, ... Will this thing NEVER end?

And that's all for tonight. Not ending on a high note. Such is life. RS will be here in about 28 hours. Whew. That is a high note. I hope.

Added later: I almost forgot and it IS a high note. D3 made chocolate truffles! Her very first time and they came out just about perfect. Yum!

I'm listening to the past playing back in my head. *Sigh*

:: Yesterdays : Tomorrows ::

~~~Last Five Entries~~~
Hi and goodbye - 2010-10-15
I'll be moving on - 2010-10-10
Gold membership and stuff - 2010-10-10
Decisions, decisions - 2010-10-07
Days to go - 2010-10-06