I'm grateful for: yummy homemade doughnuts; a day or two of not having to go anywhere; things that are getting done.

It takes me hours to wind down so that I can sleep, and I think I am finally starting to take that in. I'm not doing anything different now, or in the foreseeable future, but it would be good to be able to keep it in mind.

There's been so much too much to write about I am not going to even try. TH not getting the car back yesterday until almost 7pm, D3 falling and hurting her knee - the jury is still out on whether it's been actually injured or not, S2 is home sick and needs to go to the dr. tomorrow.

The roof almost came completely off the large lul, my laptop computer just stopped working - no idea what may have happened there, lessee, I can't remember any other recent disasters, accidents or excitement. There has been, I just can't remember any of it.

I've not been sleeping well or enough, who's surprized? Also I'm reading the Anne Frank book by Francine Prose, and it is definitely adding to the lack of delight in the dreams I am remembering. The weather's been good I guess. I can't remember that, either.

Today I went grocery shopping with the hurt and cranky D3, and sick S2 and crippled me. We managed it, but, well, I needed a bath tonight, and now who knows when it will happen? The plumbing is still not done. Large holes in the walls, crumbling concrete and bits of concrete and concrete dust and plaster and plaster dust are everywhere.

TH is working on making some tie-outs for the dogs, that could also work for the goats. That will help, but it would be better if we could repair the fence. Yeah, that...

I'm tired. Tired, cranky, irritable, I don't want to be writing laundry lists of everything wrong, or everything that is hard, or that has been an unpleasant surprize or any of that, but there doesn't seem much else to write about.

TH is still utterly miserable with his job. We scheduled a brief vacation, really just two days off from actual work, and his boss told him they need him for yet another crisis deadline and he can't take the time off if he is thinking of changing jobs because the employer can use that as justification for taking away some of the money he is entitled to.

I'm bloody sick of feeling like we are being taken advantage of from every angle as well. I just don't know what to do.

Misery-me.

I'm not so unhappy, really, but I know it reads like it. I've enough to eat and I didn't even eat any real junk tonight. I've a terrifically cute kitten learning her chin over the side of my bed. I have friends and actually the stress is way less. But now as I'm writing all of that I feel like crying, so maybe I am unhappy after-all?

I think it's just aching and tired. Trying to carry too much of the world on my shoulders - I have to let it go, give it to Hashem, relax. And, I guess if I have to cry I have to do that, too. *sigh* Tired I am.

It's almost 3am. I started in here before midnight, so that's three hours of winding down time before I can actually crawl into bed and sleep.

Tomorrow looks like a terribly full day, too, but most of it is stuff I don't do. Some of it, like laundry, is stuff it would be nice if I did, but if I can't, then there it is...

I need a break, but more than that I guess I feel like I need to see/feel that there is a point to all of this. It's been so hard, for so long, and if things are easing up that's great, but what do I get out of it? It is just not worth it if it's only going to be another round of Same Sh*t Different Day.

Well, that's how I feel right now.

I'm listening to the fan in my heater, 'cause I turned off my music and then forgot about it. THAT doesn't happen very often.

:: Yesterdays : Tomorrows ::

~~~Last Five Entries~~~
Hi and goodbye - 2010-10-15
I'll be moving on - 2010-10-10
Gold membership and stuff - 2010-10-10
Decisions, decisions - 2010-10-07
Days to go - 2010-10-06