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Honey is Sweet

Not my best day - 2010-02-28

I'm grateful for: Four of my favourite animals asleep in my room. It was a challenge to get them all fitted in, what with their rules for dominance and who can walk past whom, but I'm loving having Balta on the floor, and Sprite, Kitten and Chamudah on the bed. Now, where do I fit in this jigsaw puzzle?; plenty of mint chewing gum; video disks burned, freeing up a bunch of space on the hard drive.

Argh, argh, argh, argh! Yes again.

RS was finally induced to get the f**k out of my room after 1:30am. It's not like I don't have enough problems falling asleep. It's not like I actually ENJOY sitting here waiting for her to get the f**k out of my room so that I can maybe start to begin to wind down so that I can finally go to sleep.

It doesn't help at all to know that it is, from certain viewpoints, all my fault because I *should* have known better, and I *should* have started trying to get her out of my room much earlier.

***

Eh. Took a mental break. I'm listening to Chicago / We Can Change The World by CSN. Somehow it takes hold of my brain and doesn't let go. Which, right now, is a good thing. There are so many worse things that could have a hold on me. ;-)

I slept until sometime around 4pm. I guess I needed the sleep. Then I sat up at the computer quietly without anyone knowing I was up for a brief while. That was a blessed bit of piece, but then TH stuck his head in the door, and that was the end of that.

I'd told everyone I was hiding out in my room today and not to look for me, but once my door was open, all bets were off. D3 was angry and frustrated and restless. I invited her into my room to try and help out, only it turns out that one of the things that was bothering her was some boys who had bothered her on her walk with one of the dogs.

So I went out to tell TH that this had happened (not the first time, but the first time in a long time, and we'd thought we'd put an end to it). After explaining everything that had happened, he went out but the boys had vanished.

There's another rant about people on the moshav complaining about our dogs, but that's not for today. It will be dealt with eventually. Meantime, I'm still working on winding down. It's after 3:30am already. Where does the time go?

Tomorrow TH and RS have all kinds of plans. My plan is to stay in my room as much as possible and hopefully not have any conversation with anyone if I can help it. This is a mental health day, and I need it desperately.

Trying to explain this to RS is - well - probably pointless. But I do keep trying. See, she *is* the centre of the universe. Every single thing is about her. So, if I shut myself up in my room, it's about her. If I'm tired or in pain or want to spend time alone with my husband - it's about her. I TELL her it's not about her, and she comes back with something about how she can change 'X' if that will help. Damnit, it's not about you you stupid b**ch! Argh!

So I'm living with two totally boundariless codependents, and I need to take mental health days in order to be able to keep my head screwed on straight. It really isn't about them, although they certainly contribute to the noise I need to take breaks from.

Jerks.

Anyway, I'm really not happy about how I keep wandering into complaining. I'm going to assume that that is a sign that I should just stop typing, dive into a book maybe, and try to get some sleep finally.

I'm listening to Rilo Kiley: The Moneymaker

1 bleats so far

:: Yesterdays : Tomorrows ::

~~~Last Five Entries~~~
Hi and goodbye - 2010-10-15
I'll be moving on - 2010-10-10
Gold membership and stuff - 2010-10-10
Decisions, decisions - 2010-10-07
Days to go - 2010-10-06