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Honey is Sweet

A phone call away - 2010-08-22

I'm grateful for: Temps going down enough so I could walk; a quiet, quiet house; beef hotdogs. I can't explain it, it just came into my head.

I don't know what to write. I'm doing a bit better. Once again - I can't believe how bad I got - how bad I let myself get before I even realized how bad it was. I hope I NEVER allow myself to get that run down again - except in cases of medical emergency or the like, you know.

So I slept until before noon today, an improvement as yesterday I slept until after one. I still didn't get to sleep at a reasonable hour, though. I know I was still awake at 4am and may have been awake at 5am. I can't seem to do anything about not falling asleep, but I am going to try turning the lights out sooner and lying there in the dark awake from an earlier hour. Maybe that will help? I lie awake for such a long time.

I'm not missing talking to MMF every night, but it did feel kind of wrong for the first couple of nights as a standard routine wasn't being followed. I've not seen or talked to RS today, and I didn't join in the regular Saturday night phone call with RS and friend LL and some others.

On the other hand, TH phoned something like six times today, and at least two phone calls from S2 and two with D2. And D1 is waiting for me to call her back. *sigh*

Still, it is very good to be getting a break from some of the constant demands. I am not as much physically exhausted as emotionally. Ima(mother) cannot be everyone's emotional rock without *occasionally* someone helping to recharge the batteries. A concept that hasn't yet caught on around *this* household.

I managed to do a little bit if Hebrew studying with S3 and D3 today, and, wonder of wonders, I went for a bit of a walk. D3 put Balta's harness on her, and S3 brought Chamudah on her leash and we walked across a farm path from the house across the street from ours, and (news to me) came out among the caravanim. That would be trailer homes for Americans, don't know what else they are called. They were placed there for people who were evicted from Gaza from the village Kfar Darom. Pretty bleak and awful for people who had had decent houses and farms, but there it is.

Anyway, that was (I thought) close enough we could walk home on the street, but it was too far. We eventually reached a bench where I could rest, and S3 went home with Chamudah and sent TH out to take Balta and I made it the rest of the way home with help.

Then we had a bit of a tiff, 'cause he was being an asshole again. Specifics not forthcoming except to say that if someone you knew who was a cripple had managed a long walk for the first time in months, wouldn't anyone else in the world want to be encouraging and supportive? Yeah, well, I live with one of the other ones. *Sigh*

If he'd been angry at me for over-doing it, I could cope, at least it would show that he noticed and cared, even if only for his own comfort. He is just such a pig that sometimes I can hardly imagine how I can stand it. And then that old sing-song starts in my head - and this is BETTER? *Sigh* Well it is. *heavy sigh*

I've got to get on the phone now. I started this at 1:30, and as my day goes, I'm finishing it at almost 9pm. I wonder what it would be like to have a whole half-hour or more without a single interruption to try to finish a task. ANY task?

Maybe someday I'll find out... Yeah, right. ;-)

I'm listening to how very quiet my house is. :-)

0 bleats so far

:: Yesterdays : Tomorrows ::

~~~Last Five Entries~~~
Hi and goodbye - 2010-10-15
I'll be moving on - 2010-10-10
Gold membership and stuff - 2010-10-10
Decisions, decisions - 2010-10-07
Days to go - 2010-10-06