I'm grateful for: a good visit with Saviyon; a quiet day; reading aloud as a family.

Shabbos is over, Pesach is almost over. I feel just about dead. I'm grouchy and tired. Tired because I am grouchy I suspect. I haven't slept enough, and I couldn't get a bath today (no hot water), and it's feeling miserably hot. Nothing like summer heat, it's the heat before a storm. Humid and just miserable.

I also didn't eat very well today. I doubt any of us did. There's plenty of good food in the house, I think we've gotten too much in the habit of grabbing treats and complaining about the real food. Yes it's is rather repetitive and unexciting and we all get tired of eating baked potatoes and butter on matzoh and the various vegetable soups I manage to put together that are fundamentally all the same because Havva doesn't want celery or peas or beans or corn or beets or cabbage or, well, you get the idea. And there's only so many different things you can do with potatoes, carrots, and onions in a soup. And peppers. She likes peppers.

So this evening I was informed we need to buy more food. It's not that we don't have food, it's that they don't want to eat the food we have. We don't have the money to buy more food. Eliyahu will scream and cry and carry on, and Havva may well starve herself, but I am not spending any more money we don't have on food with a kitchen full of it. I don't care if it is boring.

I will buy fresh fruit and vegetables if I can. It really doesn't matter, they complain about the food whatever I buy. I am not going to add more stress to my life spending money we don't have (going further into debt) over this. It's going to be hard. For tonight, though, I am determined. No promises about tomorrow.

Saviyon is leaving tomorrow morning. She is catching a 9:20am train, but she wants to go there early so she can do some shopping. Basically it means leaving the house a little after seven. I don't know if I can do it. I don't know if I want to do it.

Actually I'd been thinking of going to the Be'er Sheva shuk, but the fact is I don't want to go there tomorrow, I want to go on Thursday. So I'm thinking I probably won't go along tomorrow. I hope it's not horribly bad manners. I need the sleep more, though. Or to try and get something done here in the house. It would be way better for my self-esteem if I got stuff done in the house.

Actually today was quite pleasant the quiet. John and Zechy took turns reading aloud from Men At Arms by Terry Pratchett. I shared some silly music and some old favourites from the early seventies with the kids. I got outside to feed the chickens and we very much enjoyed hanging around there for quite a while. Our next door neighbour Tzion came over for a brief visit.

I'm really just very tired. I need to try and get to sleep. The problem has been that I've had an awful time falling asleep, and when I am asleep I don't sleep well, with disturbing and unrestful dreams. *sigh*

I'm listening to More I Cannot Wish You from Guys and Dolls. It's from a Broadway Cast Recording from the eighties or nineties, and no clue about the cast member singing.

:: Yesterdays : Tomorrows ::

~~~Last Five Entries~~~
Hi and goodbye - 2010-10-15
I'll be moving on - 2010-10-10
Gold membership and stuff - 2010-10-10
Decisions, decisions - 2010-10-07
Days to go - 2010-10-06