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Honey is Sweet The picnic, collapse after - 2008-05-08 I'm grateful for: a really fun time at the picnic; seemingly developing a (slightly) thicker skin; beef hot dogs and watermelon. :-) Someone I liked very much to read has changed her password and taken me off her buddy list. I don't know if it's something I said or did, or nothing to do with me. *sigh* I think the biggest loss for me is that she is the person who has most motivated me to exercise, and to keep on exercising. I'm a bit afraid that without that motivation I may not be able to keep it up, especially since lately I am really fighting against pain, and M.S., and sometimes it seems against life generally to not completely give up... Well, at this point it is in Hashem's hands, 'cause I just don't know what else to do with it. [Added later: From the time it took me to write and post this I was able to get into her diary.] Today was quite a big day. I was awake by 8:30 and out the door in the time we had wanted, but we made a change in plan and drove to Ashkelon to hopefully watch some skydiving. It was a lot of fun, but we only stayed a short time so we could head out to the picnic - S3 complaining the whole time that he was hungry. The trip to the picnic was uneventful, and the picnic itself was wonderful. I mean really wonderful. It wasn't just better than I'd hoped or imagined, it was a really good time. I don't remember actually having fun like that since we came to Israel. At first it was just eating and recovering. I had to walk about a hundred feet, and was near fainting by the time we got there - it's an M.S. thing, where lifting my leg was like lifting a four ton weight. Well, so it was quiet and I was really rather wishing I was at home where I could lie in my bed, rather than on the rather uncomfortable ground with flies buzzing around me. D3 came over and asked if I would hold a baby, another mom was there with a really little one, not yet holding his head up. Of course I would, and that was really wonderful. Also, he'd been crying and when I had him he started smiling, which is always a perker-upper. That was what started the ball rolling for me. Then it was visiting with this person and that one. A new (to Israel) homeschooling mom showed up, and it was really nice to meet her, too. Her 13yo daughter got on fine with my 13yo daughter, and I think her 7yo son joined the other similar aged boys (there were several of them including S3) in playing together. Then another mom wanted to know if I wanted to play Taboo. I've never played the game, at least not properly, although I have seen it, but I figured sure, and the next thing I know simply everyone was in a big circle by me (since I couldn't move) and we had a rollicking fun time. I was aware I had a huge grin on my face, but didn't try to do anything but be aware I was enjoying myself and, to enjoy myself. It gets hard when I want to keep on enjoying myself and I can feel my body getting weaker and weaker, but I just don't want to give up. I was really about to say I couldn't go on when the game broke up. And then there was a bit of chatting, and cleaning up, and saying goodbyes, and inviting people out to visit. I invited simply everyone. Heck, if I'm stuck being crippled they can come and visit me, right? The drive home went well also. S1 had arrived at the family home while we were out so we weren't even coming home to an empty house. He is here for the long weekend, to open a bank account and get some money from his first paycheck. D2 had a date last night, and she didn't get home until 1am. It was really sweet, she says they just walked around talking until they realized it was after midnight. D3 has a dentist appointment tomorrow. There is a party on the beach for Israel's 60th birthday, but we most probably won't be going. And grocery shopping must happen. Well, that's life for now. I am so-o dead. No riding my exercise bike tonight, rest and hopefully sleep instead. Hashem is in charge, right? So, if I am supposed to be exercising, I will? I am surely willing, but the flesh is so, so weak. Well, goodnight. I'm listening to Elbow: The Everthere 0 bleats so far:: Yesterdays : Tomorrows ::
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