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Honey is Sweet Another day - 2009-02-01 I'm grateful for: sleeping better; feeling better; getting some organizing done with the movies in the family room. I'm feeling very sad and lonely. Some of it is missing my uncle. He died five years ago in December, and I am really wishing I could just visit with him a bit. Part of it is just accumulated lack of sleep, which always throws my emotions off. Part of it is just being lonely. I had the chance, chatting with RS and FB and a long-time friend to talk about it tonight, but I just couldn't. I don't know why, it didn't come out of my mouth. I guess in part I am just tired of talking about being lonely. I have a full life, friends and family, it's a particular loneliness for someone, a friend or mentor or confidant or something with whom I could just let all the barriers down and know that whatever I do or say, it will be okay. Problem is, I had it once. Problem is, I don't imagine I will ever have it again. It's just too lonely this side of things. Other than that, I got a lot of reading done. I'm not answering email (THAT will certainly help with feelings of loneliness. *sigh*). I am leaving almost no comments. I am not phoning people. I kind of just want to be alone with my memories. Or lose myself in books. I did watch an Addams Family episode with some of the kids tonight, and a 2005 Dr. Who episode. And S2 and I studied Hebrew a bit. And, as I said, talked with friends and family on the phone. I am still feeling better not taking any of the various and sundry drugs the dr.s have given me. Right up until I need a blood test for something, I ought to be good. Unless I start noticing problems, but, so far so good. I slept a bit better last night, and I am hoping for more of the same tonight. The eternal optimist, that's me. No contact from D1, although I did try. I asked TH to phone the upstairs telephone and he asked the new wife to ask D1 to phone us. Nothing happened, though. I don't know whether to worry or just let it go. In Hashem's time, after all. I don't want to give it to Hashem and just go do the next thing. I want it fixed, dammit! *sigh* I'm listening to Red Ingle: Let Me In 0 bleats so far:: Yesterdays : Tomorrows ::
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