I'm grateful for: walking away from a troll; focussing more on my family and what we need and can do, rather than on other people's problems; a hope for a home.

2nd entry with nothing to say. It's been an eventful day, but not so much that I have words about it. Ugly stuff with BZ, and ex-husband, that I don't even want to go in to here. My heart bleeds for Moshe - AND his brother Avi. The parents, ... well,... I don't understand why Hashem gives some people children.

Ugly exchange with a troll on a homeschoolers list. I feel pretty good about what I said and how I handled it, and when the moderator pointed out that our list was NOT for debate, but to aid homeschoolers in planning chugim and tiyulim (courses and trips), I wrote that I would mind the moderator and have nothing further to say on the subject. That didn't stop other people involved, but, blissfully, that is not my problem. I can stand back now and read or not read and not worry about it. It was stressful for a day or two there, despite an awful lot of stated support from others on the list.

Really big ugly with RS. She is still planning on moving here. We may not be able to live together in the same household. There it is. We are working on it, hopefully will work through it. I had been really hopeful we could do this (live together) but if it isn't meant to be, then it's not. She said some offensive things about my house being 'plagued,' but apologized later on. So, we got on.

We've sorted Kitten out - we're going to spend way more money but get her spayed with our family vet rather than going to the shelter. The shelter would've cost less than half what our vet charges, but it would have required a trip to Jerusalem, which as any regular reader knows, I HATE - and there was the threat that they would cut a bit off of her ear. Yuck! So, we'll stick with the vet we know, and pay a bit more. Our vet volunteered not only to reduce the price a bit, but to accept payments, so we can manage it somehow.

Kitten HAS to be spayed. It is very sad. When we lived on a farm, at least on OUR farm, there was never any need for spaying the barn cats. They had a couple or three litters a year, and we never got stuck with kittens we didn't want. We were also the local drop off point for anyone with a cat, dog, rabbit or guinea pig they didn't want anymore, and it worked out fairly well. Here it's a totally different story.

It's not that one really can't find homes for kittens or puppies, the cats have several litters a year, EACH, and can start having kittens before they are six months old. Anyway, Kitten is off to be broken, and it is for the best, and it makes me very sad.

The house continues to be quieter and more peaceful without Peppito. I hope he is getting on okay at TF's, and they are getting on okay with him. Poor Peppito. Although he certainly seemed happy enough to be going back with them.

S2 phoned from base where he was waiting to see the paramedic. I haven't heard, so I hope he is okay. Legs hurting and pains in his back. Shooting pains I think he said. Worrying.

TH is dealing with some sort of firestorm at work. It's stressful and interrupts our lives at all hours - the problem is in Japan, and their work hours are sufficiently off from ours to make life more than a little interesting.

Also they want him in the office three days a week starting next week. It will be difficult, and it may turn out to be impossible, but we will do our best to cope. At least the animal situation is much less insane around here.

What else? Well, I am just a head case. Not for any good reason that I can see. I can't sit still in my skin, feel like I am waiting for the other shoe to drop. I don't know why. Things are working - not great, but they are working. We're managing. We've got about enough. Sometimes it's stretched thin, but we haven't had to do without anything necessary. That's enough to be grateful for right there.

We are actually going to look into buying a house on the other side of the moshav. I don't want to live on the other side of the moshav I like it here. I like this house. But, besides this other house having a couple of Really Big trees (something you just don't find everywhere in the Negev), it's got an empty lot (park) on one side, neighbours I like and can talk to on the other side, and the woman who lives across the street is someone I really like and who talks to me. So it would be brilliant for me. TH would miss living next door to his best friend, but they'd still be on the same moshav, not really a problem.

The biggest problem is that the house is currently rented. The tenant doesn't have a lease, and as far as we know, the landlord would be thrilled to sell it to us. The landlord's brother seems to think he would be willing to cut a deal for us to buy the place -- so, anyway, some research will happen. I *really* want to buy something, ideally to buy into the moshav and be members and belong here. Hashem willing, of course. ...

We're planning on going on a tiyul tomorrow. We don't know where. We're pretty much just going to get into the car and drive. We're going to check out someplace called Armistice House first, if we can find it. Then go looking for parks or nature preserves or even just a wadi I can get into.

Hopefully we will do this again, and maybe even get good at it - meaning do it fairly regularly and come up with decent places to go. *sigh* Hashem is in charge, that's all there is to it. I wish He wanted for me more of the things *I* think I want.

I want, now, to get some sleep so I can go on the tiyul tomorrow and be vaguely awake, alert and not grumpy. Good Luck!

I'm listening to Eyal Golan: Isha Sheli (My Woman)

:: Yesterdays : Tomorrows ::

~~~Last Five Entries~~~
Hi and goodbye - 2010-10-15
I'll be moving on - 2010-10-10
Gold membership and stuff - 2010-10-10
Decisions, decisions - 2010-10-07
Days to go - 2010-10-06