I'm grateful for: having survived (in whatever fashion) the visit from the kabas; having older children; not being totally stuck with the s*it in my head.

I don't know what to write. I just don't want to let another day pass without writing something.

The kabas (truant officer) came by the house Thursday. I ended up losing my temper at him, and he beat a rather hasty retreat after a few minutes. He apologized profusely (to TH), and since one of the things that made me lose my temper was his not acknowledging me or when I spoke, it was not exactly balm on the wounds. I think he must be very glad that it is at least a year before he needs to come here again. He assured TH that he would send in his report and that all would be fine, but I'm going to be nervous now about possible retaliation until some time has passed.

There is a European convention (conference?) of a 12-step program at the Dead Sea this year, and I am thinking of going. FB and I would go together and share a room. Scary, that. We haven't exactly been getting on the last three years or so.

On the other hand, it is exciting to think about meeting a bunch of people from all different countries, most of whom will speak at least some English. And it's at one of the fancy tourist hotels at the Dead Sea, someplace I would never otherwise choose to go (mostly for financial reasons). There will be hotel food, which can be really good or ... not. Guess I'll find out if I'm there.

I'm kind of a head-case. Dealing with grody s*it from the past and unable to function well, especially while being chattered at incessantly, which seems to be my main function as an ima these days. S3 has crossed some dividing line and has become a 'big kid.' He doesn't necessarily recognize it, being the youngest no matter how old he gets, but it is clear to me I no longer have small children. At the moment (of f*cked-in-the-head-edness) that is something of a blessing, but I DO miss the little ones. I need some grandchildren, badly. *crooked grin*

My dogs have also crossed some sort of line, and suddenly have become happy and play with each other in a way they didn't before. They seem to have settled down to being a pack in a way they never were before. I'm not sure how/what happened.

Chamudah, the oldest, learned a little bit how to be a puppy and play, but she was always a little neurotic beasty, probably due to being taken from her mother early and abandoned in a parking lot to die. Balta (next oldest) was cared for at least, but she was left tied outside of an apartment for ten or twelve hours a day every day and never learned to play like a puppy apparently. Samantha, S1's dog, is the most relatively well-adjusted member of the pack.

Anyway, it is obvious that for the last several months, Balta has been learning to play, and playing with both Samantha and Chamudah. That Chamudah is playing is a change for her, and indicates at the very least that she is not so jealously guarding her position as alpha-dog. Chamudah is very smart for a dog and understands more words than any dog I've ever known. She strives to be more human than dog it seems. The important thing is that there are all sorts of doggie grins and bouncy playfulness going on that have been missing in the dog part of our family. I don't know what caused the change (just time maybe - they finally feel secure?) but I am most glad to see it.

TH is supposed to be sleeping off his morning's potations, but instead he's getting in the way of D3 and S2 getting kiddush ready. I say, if he couldn't be bothered to be responsible enough not to get drunk before noon then he has a hell of a nerve insisting to be a part of kiddush (that he wasn't even going to set up for us) when we decide to take care of things ourselves.

I had some thoughts about marriage and family that I can't put into words yet, so I'm going to give it up and go see how the food is getting on. If the body will permit.

I'm listening to D3 and S2 chattering in the kitchen, and enjoying it very much.

:: Yesterdays : Tomorrows ::

~~~Last Five Entries~~~
Hi and goodbye - 2010-10-15
I'll be moving on - 2010-10-10
Gold membership and stuff - 2010-10-10
Decisions, decisions - 2010-10-07
Days to go - 2010-10-06