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Honey is Sweet On death, and dying - 2009-07-06 I'm grateful for: a summer vacation bonus; a day off tomorrow; getting to talk to D1's new significant other. Lloyd died. That would be RS's father. The father who is listed on the birth certificate that I have, although all the indications are that he is not my biological father. I'm not sad. I'm not really upset. I think the word for how I am feeling is unsettled. He was given three months to live maybe nine months ago? So, it's not a surprize. He's in his 70's, born 1933. His birthday is in September. RS is thinking of/planning on going to the funeral. Not because she particularly wants to go there, but because she is his next-of-kin. He is survived by a brother and a sister - if both of them are still alive. We might not have heard about it if they aren't. RS is also going to try to track down phone numbers for them. I don't envy her any of this. The up side, for her, is that she gets a week off from work, no questions asked, and she could really use it. Also, as she told me, she has always been afraid that he would die and she wouldn't hear about it. So THAT worry is put to bed. I suppose he will be cremated. That is all she talked about, and it's not like there is any money. RS hasn't got any, and as far as I know he didn't have any, and he for sure didn't have anything like insurance. RS says she is going to get his medical records, and try to get a dna sample. That way we can find out definitively if he is or is not father to either of us. Long story, if he isn't my father, no surprize, but then it confirms that I have no idea who my father is, in which certainty may be better than uncertainty, but I don't know for sure. If it turns out that he is not RS's father - well, not so much of a surprize, but not expected either. The one clue that RS and I have is that we share the same blood type, and according to mother, there is no way for him to be my father with that blood type. Now mother may very well have been just completely off her nut. Or she may have been right, in which case RS will have to learn to deal with not knowing who her father also. I don't know what to pray for. I'd gotten used to coasting along the way things were. I don't like change. It means I have to think, and it might mean I have to deal with family. I Do Not choose to deal with my family of origin - other than RS. So. Unsettled. I just want him burned or buried or whatever it is, and RS back home, and it over. I don't want to have to talk with her or deal with her over this. I will have to, I know. She will need to be able to call me. Gah! I am so tired of being drained by the phone. I'm sure I had more to write, and more is going on, and all of that. But for tonight, it's all about Lloyd, and Family, and that crap. May tomorrow be a better day. I'm listening to the dryer, which isn't running right. 0 bleats so far:: Yesterdays : Tomorrows ::
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