Still working on this thing. I wanted to write some thoughts I have regarding the 'disengagement' and not have to deal with other's comments, or even the possibility of other's comments. So, this seems like I good place/time, since no one knows this is here yet.

Of course now that I'm here, the words aren't flowing. Well, that's normal. And I am very, very tired. I *don't* want to be up all night, especially as I slept until 2pm today. But, this is the time when I can hear myself think, when I can think, when I can write anything that isn't removed from me by several levels of noise and distraction. So this is what I do.

Someday, the last child will leave home and the dog will die (as they say) and I will probably miss these days. Or at least, miss having my children close around me. None of this is easy, but that doesn't mean it isn't good, and worthwhile.

I read a wonderful piece by a woman who was a teacher (well, still is, but not professionally), who chose to stay home to rear her children. She made a wonderful case regarding society needing to do more to support what are called stay-at-home mom's, and also that society needs to value what we do more.

But, more important (to me) she went through (or is going through) a period of being disabled, such that she has had the experience of having to lie on the sofa and watch other people fix the two-year-old's shoes, or get a child a drink. She couldn't lift a child to her lap to give comfort, or walk to the door to welcome a child home from school. She *knows.* If I could express how horribly hard it is, I would truly be a writer. As it is, all I can do it read her words and jump up and down and shout --> "What She Said!"

Yeah, what she said. I am pretty darn tired of being crippled, but more tired of feeling worthless and useless to everyone, while people I don't consider responsible, or who aren't going to stick around past the last paycheck are taking 'care' of my children.

Please note: the people I don't consider responsible (my husband, my "brother," or my other children are not the same as the people who won't stay past the last paycheck. I have managed to *not* hire people who are not responsible, whatever other faults they may have had. Unfortunately I marry them. :-(

Well, this has nothing regarding the political/social/security situation here, and I have other things to do so this can stand as the second entry, as I continue to try and make this into a diary I can look at.

:: Yesterdays : Tomorrows ::

~~~Last Five Entries~~~
Hi and goodbye - 2010-10-15
I'll be moving on - 2010-10-10
Gold membership and stuff - 2010-10-10
Decisions, decisions - 2010-10-07
Days to go - 2010-10-06