I'm grateful for: Catching up on email; good friends (even more good friends, what happened?); a day of rest

What for me was a difficult email exchange with my oldest daughter. I asked Zechy to make sure my response didn't sound like an attack, but I have no control over how she reads it. What she wrote did trigger a rather strong reaction in me.

What she wrote: Sometimes I read about Israel, in the news, or in the stories you send me. And I begin to be afraid. I do not have the full story, I know there is much I do not see. I see a nation that mourns and loves it's children, and finds comfort in knowing that those who die are holy and loved by God. I see those, innocent and guilty, child and old, forced into a holy war not of their chosing. and I wonder, and I fear.

When death defending the State and the People is holy, how long before children believe they should seek such a death? And will a day come when 'defense of the People' means anniliation of the people's enemies? I believe there are few greater evils then a war fought in God's name. And while it is clear to me that Israel has no choice but to defend itself, I wonder if it is possible to fight such a war without being infected by it, or if Irsael is even now becoming the very thing it fights against. From what I know of the Jewish people I have hope that my fears are foolish. Yet I hope that there are those in Irsael that are also afraid, and guard against the danger that I fear I see.

What I wrote: I am afraid. And I don't have the full story (I doubt anyone does, besides Hashem). But I am here, and I see things and hear things and am a part of things which make me think I may have a better understanding of how it is here than anyone who isn't here. Which is why I send things along - things which say in better words that I could ever have, what it is like here, who we are, how it is. The reality is so much more than could ever conveyed in an email, or a hundred.

Two days ago, while John was at work, there was a loud 'boom' and the whole house shook like it was an earthquake (which, in a way, it was). We all looked at each other speechless for a moment or three (we all was Hans, Zechy, Simcha and I). Hans volunteered to take a walk down the road to see if he could find out what was going on. No one can
hear/feel that without worrying - especially in Israel.

What we believe (there were no news reports, so have to assume it wasn't newsworthy) was that they were blasting to create a new road for us to drive into 'pre-1967' Israel without having to pass through/drive past the hostile arab town and city we drive by today. The road used to go right through the town (Azzoun) and city (Kalkilye), before the Intifada. When it became so dangerous that cars with Jews in them couldn't safely drive through the city, even though every passenger was armed, a by-pass road was built, which is what we drive on now. From the hostile arab town, a village grew up on either side of the bypass road. Hence the new security road.

What you ask is so alien to Jewish thought it is hard to put my mind around it. We do not seek out these fights - they are forced on us again and again. Rather than fight, and kill (and be killed) we will build new roads, put up new fences, uproot our people (although that turned out to be a really BAD idea), concede, accede. Because the highest Jewish value is life. "He who saves one life, it as if he has
saved the whole world."

Our soldiers are only allowed to kill if it is believed that in killing one, or two, or three, or even dozens, even more lives will be saved. And they are not counting arab lives, Jewish lives, muslim lives. They are counting lives.

If you could talk to/hear the soldiers you would lose those capitals. Our soldiers are not defending a People. They are defending people. They are defending their mothers and children and buddies and neighbours. This is a small country, more like a huge extended family than anything else. There is no one in this country (including us, now) who doesn't know someone personally who was killed or injured by a terrorist, or in the war.

If you knew, or had the time/energy to learn about Israel's history, you would know that we have never started a war. Not even the war for our independence. Not that Jews don't ever start wars - we are just like other people, really. But our children are not taught to worship death, to deify suffering and martyrdom. We don't cheer and have a party when one of ours is killed, even if he died killing arabs. We weep. Compare that to a palestinian 'martyr's funeral. Compare that to the arabs shooting at the mourners at the funeral of a mother and her five daughters who were shot in cold blood by an arab who managed to trap them in a road blockade.

There is this blurring between what they do (attack innocents in cold blood, kidnap soldiers in an act of war, then hide in a civilian population to increase the civilian casualties we must inflict), and what we do in self defense. Because we are both holding guns, there is this assumption that there must be some equivalence between our actions. That we must in some way be like them, and that they must,
for some reason comprehensible to us, do what they do. After all, people don't act like that without a good reason, right?

Well, we may be all alike under the skin at the moment of birth, but after that there are some drastic and definable differences. Our children go to school and learn that life is holy. Theirs go to
school and learn that there is no greater holiness than to die killing us (Jews and Americans - they don't distinguish). Their children are given toy suicide bomb belts when they are five to wear at parties. Our children learn to hold fire until they are given permission to shoot - even when they are being fired upon. Our courts worry about bending over backwards to be 'fair,' not just to Israeli arabs, but even to Palestinians who have no claim to the protection of Israel's law, as they are not citizens of this country and do not live here. We don't show up in their courts. No Jews would live long enough.

As far as 'annihilation of the people's enemies,' even assuming we wanted to, could we really eliminate 300,000,000 million arabs, or whatever it is, surrounding our country in their 22 (or is it 23, I
always forget) countries, and if we did, would that make us 'safe?'

The danger that you see, you see from a distance which makes no sense here. If we were truly in danger of becoming like those who attack us, we would have to be transformed into something completely different - incomprehensible - alien. This may be unbelievable to you, or you may think the fact that I don't even consider it possible means that I am as blinded as the other ideologues who make such a noise on the internet and the airwaves. There is nothing I can do about that. You are there and cannot see and hear what I see and hear every single day.

What I can do is be very grateful that what they are is completely different - incomprehensible - alien. Hashem protect me from ever knowing what it is like to be like that. I believe the fact that I feel that way - and that that feeling is echoed in virtually every Jew I meet - is all the defense we are likely to need.

***

So, in rereading that, it is worthwhile to mention that the same thing (as killing Jews and Americans) applies to killing English, or hindus, or anyone, really. They kill each other with almost as much enthusiasm (maybe more - I'm not in a position to judge). 'They' I understand is not all Palestinians, or all arabs or all muslims. But as has been pointed out again and again, while all muslims are not terrorists, virtually all terrorists (with some notable exceptions in the recent past, like some Irish and some Basque) are muslim. More importantly, we don't see those Palestinians, or arabs or muslims, who are not terrorists standing up and making it clear that they are against it. "The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing."

I'll write another entry about me. But I needed to put that email somewhere. It is too disturbing, or something. My own daughter sits in her safe New Jersey home and cannot tell the difference between us and them. That disturbs me.

:: Yesterdays : Tomorrows ::

~~~Last Five Entries~~~
Hi and goodbye - 2010-10-15
I'll be moving on - 2010-10-10
Gold membership and stuff - 2010-10-10
Decisions, decisions - 2010-10-07
Days to go - 2010-10-06