I'm grateful for: beef sausages; knowing Hashem is in charge, and being less stressed about it all; a projected trip to the Dead Sea.

It wasn't a bad day. I wish I'd had more sleep. I took a nap and had some awful dreams, which seriously contributes to my present mood.

The sukkah isn't finished, which is worrying. We have an insane amount to do tomorrow, which as a last surprize includes visiting an open house at an engineering college in Be'er Sheva - we got the invitation after 8pm today.

I sound depressed (maybe you can't hear it, but I do). I'm not depressed. It is just that every single day is an uphill slog through molasses. I don't know. but I would imagine that anyone with a long-term chronic illness knows exactly what I am talking about. I just need a break, I need things not to be hard for a while.

Well, that's what I think I need. It's pretty clear that Hashem has other ideas.

I used to wonder if there ever comes a time when I just take this bloody fatigue for granted. You know, just expect it as a regular part of life and carry on. So far the answer seems to be 'no.'

Going out on a limb here, but not really since it's not like I have so many readers who might respond, and with a complete change of subject... I've believed for years that my writing is shit. I've been encouraged in that belief by some individuals who believe that they can write and write well (no implied judgment or criticism of them or their writing intended here, just a useful descriptor for myself).

Now I find myself wondering. And how can I tell - since I hate everything I write anyway, my own judgment is of no use. So I'm asking if anyone cares to respond. Is my writing all just crap? Is it even a waste of bandwidth to ask the question? I'm just curious, really. Today at least. Another day I might ask the same question with all my ego riding on it, but today no. I want to know what people other than those experts who feel the need to volunteer their opinions think.

Now I get to see if anyone responds. Ah, the joys of a reclusive life. :-)

I'm listening to the beautiful sound of *not* having the fan running all night. Not quite silence, but so wonderful to have a little less din.

:: Yesterdays : Tomorrows ::

~~~Last Five Entries~~~
Hi and goodbye - 2010-10-15
I'll be moving on - 2010-10-10
Gold membership and stuff - 2010-10-10
Decisions, decisions - 2010-10-07
Days to go - 2010-10-06