I'm grateful for: a clean bill of health for Balta; getting bills paid; shawarma for lunch.

Last night I had all kinds of things I thought I wanted to write, but Hashem had other plans. So now I'm trying to remember any of it. I have no brain, no brain at all.

I imagine I'm starting to sound like a broken record, but I do want to say again "Thank you!" for all the kind, helpful and caring comments in emails and my d'land notes. If I had a brain I'd try to come up with something new or different to say. If I had a bit more of a brain I'd maybe write something directly to people who've taken the time and made the effort.

*sigh*

One thing I can write about directly - about the shot. I don't know the name of it, or rather, I know what it is called here but doubt it's called the same thing in the English-speaking world. It is something which is supposed to bring on something like temporary menopause, by suppressing the production of hormones. How much I understood is questionable. I probably understood more when the dr. was telling me than I can remember now to repeat. The purpose is to stop the bleeding and prepare the uterus for ablation. That is, burning. Whee, fun. It's done under a general - that is, general anesthesia (or however that is spelled). Not the shot, the ablation.

However, for the moment that is academic, as we went into Netivot yesterday and waited on line for a while to find out that the pharmacy was out of it. Completely. Out of stock. I doubt they get so many calls for this stuff, so my best guess is that they generally keep one on hand in case, and during the chag (festival) or maybe the whole holiday season, didn't bother to re-order. So, I'm still bleeding, and had to get up early again tomorrow in the hopes that they've managed to get it delivered.

It wasn't a complete waste of a trip, thank goodness, we managed to get to the post office and pay the utility bills that have accumulated, and pick up our new books of checks (with our correct address!!! Yeaaaa!!!) at the bank.

I also made it out again later with John and Havva to bring Balta to the vet. Balta's ear has a clean bill of health and we have to keep cleaning her ears out about twice a week. I guess whatever-it-was is fairly common in dogs whose ears flop down.

It turns out that one of our house-guests has never seen some movies that we have, and she really wanted to, so we watched the Bone Collector tonight. That is such a terrific movie. Not actually 'fun' perhaps. But the crip defending himself at the end is worth any amount of creepy and/or gross. At least *I* think so. ;-)

I don't know what else to say for myself. I haven't been out to feed the chickens in over a week, I think. That's pretty miserable, but, what can I do?

Tomorrow I'm getting up early to try and get the shot again, we have an appointment to go with Simcha to a horse-ranch to check it out as a possible place for riding lessons.

Oh! I managed to talk to both Jessica and Hans last night. That was great. Hard, but great. Jessica was short and sweet, but all conversations with her are hard, and likely will be hard, until the kids are back with her. With Hans, it was just that I really miss having him nearby so much. I don't question that he is right where he needs to be, and doing the right things for himself. I still feel a hurting place in my chest at how far away he is.

In the U.S. he really is well enough adjusted, regardless of Aspergers, to function comfortably. He's job hunting, which sucks rocks as we all know. But he's handling it without getting in that frustrated out-of-control state he got into here. He hasn't got it easy any way you look at it. Either he's a nineteen-year-old boy in the U.S. with no parents, completely on his own, trying to do those things, get a job, a home, a life of his own, that are hard enough to do with all the support of a family nearby. Here he's got the family, but in a new country where he hasn't got the coping skills. Yet. I believe he could do it. And I certainly don't mean to imply that Jessica isn't family, but ... Hans is probably better prepared for life than she is, despite her being older, married, and having a few years of living independently as an adult.

Ahh, what do I know? I just want it all to be all right, and I want it NOW! *wry grin* We should all be so lucky.

We didn't talk about anything much, we just talked. It was wonderful to hear Hans' voice. It was good just to make contact with Jessica.

I can't remember much else. I'm still not getting much sleep, although the time between showers now five to six hours rather than four. I'm really feeling it, though. I couldn't get out of the car without help, and I'm needing more help with personal care. I hate it, but what can I possible do? Besides keep praying, and trying to do the next right thing, I mean. There's not much.

Starting a new month is exciting because we will have money again. And because it's the end of the chagim, the holidays, and 'normal' life should be resuming. With each passing month, 'normal' life gets closer, and life in general gets better. Financially, the condition of the house, how we are all doing here. I've gotten so I don't even like the word 'progress,' so I'm not going to talk about that. At the moment there is a trend towards life being more comfortable, less stress-filled, and maybe, happier? I'm not hating my husband so much lately.

I guess we'll just have to see how long that lasts - since it is almost entirely dependent on his behaviour. So far, so good.

A funny thing that is different here from in the U.S. at least, is that Israelis don't say two o'clock in the morning. It is shteim b'lyla, two in the night. If you say 'two in the morning,' Israelis (at least the ones I've talked with about this) look at you questioningly, or in disbelief. There is no 'two in the morning,' obviously.

Whether there is or is not two in the morning, I don't want to be up that late again tonight, so I'm going to stop now. I have at least three emails to write before I can sleep. How do I get in this situation? Oh, yes, I have people in my life. I guess that's good. ;-)

I'm listening to my fan, and the keys tapping.

:: Yesterdays : Tomorrows ::

~~~Last Five Entries~~~
Hi and goodbye - 2010-10-15
I'll be moving on - 2010-10-10
Gold membership and stuff - 2010-10-10
Decisions, decisions - 2010-10-07
Days to go - 2010-10-06