I'm grateful for: a diary in which I still can write what I need to; continuing to recover, however slowly; a quiet house this morning.

I haven't written for two days (or is it three?), not such a long time, but it seems like it's been so-o long. The days are just packed.

I'm stealing a quiet moment in the morning before I open my door to the dogs and kids and husband and noise and, well, breakfast, too. Eating would be good.

I was really stupid last night, I was getting too hot - I KNEW I was getting too hot, but instead of doing anything about it, I just sat in this hot room and whined about how awful I felt - to myself mostly. Stupid! I could've gotten an ice pack if I didn't want to go out in the airconditioned salon, but my brain had shut down, or something.

Anyway, I lived, but it was stupid. By the time it got through my head that this was not okay I was having trouble breathing, and, well, it was just not good. I feel really stupid now, but it's what comes of a lifetime of learning not to pay attention to my body's signals and ignoring what I need. If I don't eat or drink or get cool or go to the loo until it's a crisis, then I live from crisis to crisis, which is no way to live, and awfully hard on the body as well.

I'm learning. Slowly.

That pretty much takes it out of me. I've absolutely no clue what new fun stuff the day will bring, but I'm starting to have no doubts that there will be something.

I didn't write it - I made it to the mikvah Thursday night. That was good. Sex with the husband wasn't. What else is new?

I'm listening to my fan, its shabbos, it's quiet.

:: Yesterdays : Tomorrows ::

~~~Last Five Entries~~~
Hi and goodbye - 2010-10-15
I'll be moving on - 2010-10-10
Gold membership and stuff - 2010-10-10
Decisions, decisions - 2010-10-07
Days to go - 2010-10-06