I'm grateful for: Everything being basically okay; a good conversation with FB; clean sheets.

Here it is, 1:15 in the morning (which feels early for some reason) and I am typing with a relatively clear head. How long will that last, I wonder?

My typing skills are really sad. I used to be able to type up to 70wpm with no mistakes (I've been timed at up to 110wpm, but not regularly). Now I make more mistakes per line than I used to make in a multi-page document, and have trouble with spacing and everything. Lack of practice? MS? Who cares. It just annoys me.

I can no longer play piano either. I was never that great, but I could play. Well enough that it made me happy and people could sing along if they wanted to (if I was playing something with words). I was visiting at a friend's home a couple of weeks ago, a friend who has a piano, and I couldn't play a single piece, or even a bit of a song. *sigh* The fingers just don't work right, or don't remember. A bit of both.

It was a very short day today as I slept until after 1pm. I hate that. I needed the sleep, though. I definitely haven't caught up on my sleep debt yet. After I woke up S1 read aloud from a Rumpole book (Rumpole and the Reign of Terror) and finished it for us.

We read the parsha, Ki Tisa, which is part of the book of Shemot - drat! I can't remember which that is in English. It's the golden calf, and the second set of tables of the law. The three older kids were here, and we each read a bit, then we each either read a divrei torah, or tried to do one ourselves. A divrei torah is, well, finding meaning or a lesson or instruction in a bit of the torah (scripture), and explaining it. Roughly.

TH went to a bit of a memorial for someone who died on the moshav a month ago, while S3 played at the house next door. Unfortunately, TH forgot all about S3, and walked off to the shul leaving S3 waiting for him. S3 finally went in search of him (I'm glad we live in the kind of place that we do, where an 8yo can just go wandering around looking for his father, and there's nothing to worry about). Then S3 came home, after finding TH and telling him he was going home. My 8yo is more responsible than my 45yo. Well, that's probably because *I* reared the 8yo. No, seriously.

I'm furious, except I haven't the energy to be furious, and it would be just a complete waste of energy. TH apologized to S3, but we all of us (including TH!) know that it's just words. TH feels terrible now, but in the exact same circumstances he will do exactly the same thing again. Actually he doesn't feel terrible now. It happened many hours ago so TH has by now forgotten all about it.

I haven't forgotten, but I have to let it go, because I just can't be wasting my time, and life energy, on TH and the things that he does (and doesn't do). The kids are old enough now that even being as disabled as I am I can make sure that none of us are left at his mercy. So, no worries about 1yo's getting into the Drano, or 4yo's walking off of a fifteen foot high deck. I don't allow TH to sit in the passenger seat with them if they are driving (neither of the boys have a license yet). If they are practicing, it is with me. It's not that TH isn't capable of causing harm or injury, but the children are, for the most part, able to take care of themselves when he does the things he does. Thank goodness!

Now if only I could get him out of the kitchen... *sigh*

It was a lovely shabbos. After sundown we read some of the Fifth Elephant by Terry Pratchett. The kids went off to watch Drop Zone, and I phoned my sister, who was visiting with my mother. So, that was a short phonecall. Then tried to phone in to a meeting, but couldn't connect with the one I can usually get to, so I phoned FB and we talked for a couple of hours. We talked a lot about our struggles with people who don't 'get' being powerless, and trying not to be mean when surrounded by mean-ness. So, almost a meeting.

D2 also phoned, and we talked for quite a long time. I think I was on the phone for close to four hours. Yikes! I went into the family room to sit and spin (exercise bike) and we watched an episode of Firefly. S1 brought the first season home from the U.S. on dvd. I didn't want to watch it - I have nothing against it, but I really have so much to do already, and getting hooked into another television series is not what I want to be doing with my time. Well, we ended up watching it Thursday night for some reason (there were problems with some other disk, and what with one thing and another, this was the thing that worked). And now I am hooked. *sigh* It's space opera, but it is funny enough, and the characters aren't as annoying as I was afraid they would be. Well, mostly. ;-)

I'm still doing well with the exercising. Yeaaa!!! I haven't missed more than one day a week on the bike, and I've managed to work out with the weights I'm pretty sure at least five times a week. I'm not actually seeing any changes in me, but I can ride the bike set at a higher level of resistance, and do a couple more reps with the hand weights than when I started. Hopefully that is a good sign.

I lost the dr.s letter authorizing me to get checked at the lab at the health clinic. I have some kind of scabby thing happening on my scalp, under my hair. No fun, that. I'm supposed to be getting checked for a fungal infection, but instead TH and I tore the house apart and couldn't find the letter. So he has to phone the dr. for that tomorrow. I hope I can get to the lab on Monday, this is not fun stuff, and I will be in Netivot Monday anyway for the root canal, reprise. I hope it works this time.

Anyway, after tearing the house apart, everyone went to bed. I am not going to sleep just yet because I am typing this, but I hope to be asleep by some sort of fairly reasonable hour (for me).

Tomorrow morning the metapelet is coming again. I hope. I desperately need a bath and my hair washed. Desperately. Did I mention that it is desperate? I can't remember feeling this yucky. It must be warming up. ;-)

There's nothing else on the schedule. Hopefully that means laundry can get done and we can study our Hebrew (and S3 his English). And have a quiet, calm day. If only I can get the noise between my ears to settle down. *sigh*

I'm listening to The All-American Rejects: Straightjacket Feeling

:: Yesterdays : Tomorrows ::

~~~Last Five Entries~~~
Hi and goodbye - 2010-10-15
I'll be moving on - 2010-10-10
Gold membership and stuff - 2010-10-10
Decisions, decisions - 2010-10-07
Days to go - 2010-10-06