I'm grateful for: A bit of hope, again, that D1 may actually get here; being able to go feed my birds, and my new chicks; feeling better and doing better.

What news? News enough. For what it's worth.

I didn't sleep well, but I didn't really expect to. Once I was awake I pretty much puttered around until it was time to feed the birds, which I did. I do love my birds. The mama hen in the small lul with her seven (or possibly six) remaining chicks was curled up and I never really saw more of a chick than the feet of one that wouldn't stay still under her left wing.

In the big lul, the black hen with one white and one black chick was also pretty hidden, but I did get to see her chicks a little bit. Really adorable. The all black one is actually already not all black, with a bit of lighter colour showing around the legs. Still, the sort of chick that you just want to pick up and cuddle. Watch out for mama's sharp beak, though. TH and I have both been pecked with this go-round of chicks. Not that we mind. It is so worth it.

It appears possible that our two dairy goats are pregnant. If so, then we are going to be watching really closely to see what sort of kids they have. We hadn't intended to breed them to our white dwarf goats, because we want a dairy herd. The timing is close enough they may actually have already been bred when we bought them. Or they may have been gotten by our goats just after they came home, and while we still imagined they wouldn't go into heat. Critters can fool you like that.

Whichever sort of kids we get, the milk from the does should be the same, and hopefully keep us in milk for at least nine months. But if the kids are part white dwarf then they are basically meat - which will be hard on us. We don't breed for meat, and we don't eat the animals we raise, but farming realities are what they are.

If the kids are all dairy goat, then we are on our way to establishing a new flock. Good for us, good for the goats.

Anyway, after feeding critters, S2 and D3 and I headed out to go grocery shopping. It went very well, I overspent because i mis-counted how much cash I had, but only by 100 shekel and I might even be able to save that much tomorrow when we go to Tel Aviv.

We now have lots of potatoes, and some genuine salami (SUCH a treat) in addition to our usual sorts of staples like whole wheat pasta and tuna and tinned pineapple. Pineapple is the ONLY thing we can get packed in all fruit juice, everything else, and I mean everything, is in syrup. I've gotten pretty creative and have lots and lots of things to do with tinned pineapple rings and pieces.

Mostly it involves blending them with fresh fruit, whatever is available and in season. One really terrific thing about living here is the amount of fresh fruit and veg that is available all year 'round. In New England there are months and months in which all the 'fresh' fruit is either stored apples or things flown in from places like Brazil, and not so fresh at that.

We all miss berries terribly, those being so plentiful and in so many varieties where we come from, but I guess that is just life. D3 found a package of frozen blueberries and asked could we PLEASE get them for her because she is sick. Other than insisting that she share with S1, who is also sick, I had no problem with that.

Back home I had some chicken that TH brought home from a yahrzeit - anniversary of our neighbour's father's death last year - and we watched some Addams Family and some Doctor Who and read news to each other Sometimes our news overlaps and we end up reading stuff to others who have already heard or read it, but mostly we tend to use different sources, which works out just fine. I read or heard three or four different versions of what happened in Davos between the Turkish president and Peres. All in all it sounds like a lively time, and I'm sorry I didn't get to be a spectator. ;-)

But, anyway, by then it was at least eleven p.m., and S2 and I still had to study Hebrew, which we did do. While I am definitely not making anywhere near as much progress as he is, I think I *am* getting some of it. Hope, hope.

And now it's after 2:30a.m., and I am supposed to be getting up in five hours. How is that going to work? I have to do some shopping in Netivot before heading off to Tel Aviv for third session with the acupuncturist.

And I haven't written at all about D1 calling. I wasn't home when she phoned, so I only have S1's report of what was said, but at the moment she is dead set on moving to Israel, or so it seems. We'll see if the enthusiasm lasts even two days this time - that would be longer than the last one. I am somewhat cynical but only because i really, really want it to happen this time.

According to S1, she seems to have woken up to the meaning of having the police show up at her house to investigate her and her care of the children, and decided she doesn't want to or can't live like this anymore. She told S1 that she took the money I asked RS to send (finally!) to the bank and will be ordering GD1's birth certificate immediately. As soon as she has the birth certificate she intends to order passports for the whole family.

I totally support her in this, because short of getting far enough away from mom and dad that they can't find her, she will always and forever live under the threat of their accusing her of neglecting or abusing the kids. If only I could believe that she will actually go all the way through with it this time. Although getting GD1's birth certificate is a great step, and one that she needs to take no matter what she intends to do - I mean, you HAVE to have a copy of your child's birth certificate on hand, you just never know what you may need it for, right?

But anyway, all of this is according to S1, who is not 100% when it comes to understanding people, it's an Asperger's thing. He hears the same words but he often interprets them differently, and he really has trouble with tones of voice and non-verbal clues. I tried to phone D1 myself, but couldn't get through, which might have been the V.O.I.P phone, or it might have been because D1 is not going up to the apartment of the kids' father and his new wife and her kids, which is where the phone is. She has a cel phone, but I don't know what the number is, or even if it is active. So... *sigh* Trying not to get excited and hopeful, trying not to be too cynical and pessimistic. Fortunately I can let Hashem be in charge of it all - not that it's always that easy, but it does give me a way to not obsess about it.

You know, your kids never stop being your kids, no matter how old they get. I know it's been said a million times before at least, but I'm really getting it now. My oldest is 26, going on 27, and I still worry and fret, and she still needs me, almost as much as my 9yo. I know that that is in part because we've only known each other for such a short time comparatively, and also, unfortunately, because her mom and dad did such a bad job of being parents.

*sigh*

Well, I just got up and tucked S3 back in bed. One of the perks for me of being up at night is that I have been the one to go to him when he can't sleep, or kicks his covers off, or has a bad dream. I used to do that with D2, and a little bit with S1, but I was just unable for most of my kids lives. They automatically call for TH, and this even though he often doesn't answer them at all. Talk about guilt (me, I mean, TH doesn't bother to feel guilty, he just blocks it all out).

So S3 is back asleep, and I am in a nightgown, thank goodness. And I forgot to brush my teeth again. Aagh! I know, more than anyone else wanted to know. Well. It is frustrating for me, and I am NOT getting up again, it is too hard, and I feel as if I might actually be able to go to sleep if I lie down now, so that is what I am going to do.

I am listening to Ray Charles: Let Me Hear You Call My Name

:: Yesterdays : Tomorrows ::

~~~Last Five Entries~~~
Hi and goodbye - 2010-10-15
I'll be moving on - 2010-10-10
Gold membership and stuff - 2010-10-10
Decisions, decisions - 2010-10-07
Days to go - 2010-10-06